Well. Almost a month has passed of me tackling #3oaksmeetsmeg and there are so many thoughts to share I haven't known where to begin.
My days: workout, homework, group 9-3, work 3-7, food, SLEEP. Yeah. Breathing isn't an option. I question why I am doing this; I would never wish this upon anyone and I wouldn't give it up for the world. There's so much to learn; to hear; to process; to seek wisdom for.
So how have I been doing?
I wish I had a better answer than 'it depends on the hour and the day'. Becuase; that is the truth. So many things are playing into life as I know it, that a roller coaster is comparable. I am learning a lot about how I process things, how we 'should'/'shouldn't', and how to have a family-type community within a diverse group of strangers.
I become more and more thankful for my tribe everyday. I love everyone in my village; if you are reading this then you are 'in' the village. However, my tribe is the 'closer' ones to me; without them I wouldn't make it. This is definitely a group process (JUST like #journeytobeironmeg). I sometimes feel selfish for asking for so much; talking so much; rambling, crying, venting so much. However, these crazy people choose to love. I for one will never be able to express my love for them sticking around during this time; I sometimes wonder why, but I know my heart needs it.
So what is 'group' like?
Well. It's incredible; scary; accomplishing; something I wish everyone could experience. It is a family atmosphere times a zillion. We love each other, learn about the intricacies of each day, and yet will call each other out in the blink of an eye. The best way to describe it is getting to hit a version of 'non-functioning' with a small group of people, which brings you closer than words can convey. You get to process depths of life you didn't know existed; with other people learning about you and you learning about them in the process. Practically it's kind-of like class. You have one 'class' (session), lunch, and then 'class'. We stay in the same room and different 'teachers' (therapists) come for their specific 'class' (topic of discussion).
So what am I training for?
Nothing really. My new workout schedule for this time of life is an hour for 5 days a week; no long runs, rides, or swims (HAHAHA). Vastly different than what I am used to, but I am willing to submit to whatever they devise for me for the moment until 'normalcy' is found.
So, for real nothing. No secret racing; I am going to be a cheerleader all season. I might do a 10k or something-we'll see. I am honestly sad as ever about this because I love endurance sports and I love doing so much in a week, but this isn't my year for that and that just has to be OK at some level. So. When you decide to race shoot me a text and I'll be there with a poster!!!
So why no social media?
I decided with 'help' from a bud last week that I need a month or 2 hiatus from Facebook specifically. As you know, I have been doing #100daysofgratitude and it has been actually wonderful to get to appreciate the people, places, and things within my realm. However, with my newfound 'rules' for exercise, I realize that my heart tends to feel jealous, envious, sad, pitiful, and desiring to be/do whatever I see all my buddies training for. That is NOT the mentality God desires for me to have during this time. I quite honestly hate those feelings, so I am here to fight them however I need to best. So. Day 101 will be non-existant. This whole process is not exactly fun, but I know is something that is going to shape the outcome of the rest of my adult life, and I for one want to do this correctly. God is so perfectly providing heaping amounts of strength and wisdom to help me get through each day, and that wihtin itself is something I'll never be able to express or replace.
So where will I live now?
As you all know my bestie since elementary school got married March 5th (OW OW MICHELLE YOU LOOKED STUNNING)!! So-what's next? Well, the 2 week period between the 5th and the 19th one of my RBF's (running best friend) so gracoiusly allowed me to crash her house, her family, and her normalcy so that I didn't have to be solo for a week. I know I am a bit to handle at this time of life so a thank you will never suffice; Amanda, Jonathan, and her 2 kiddos let me come be a part of their family and didn't blink an eye at that. Y'all-this is true community. So, March 19th I move into a house with Renee' and we will reside in the beautiful town of Clinton, MS. Yep-I am staying in C-town! Despite my 'day life' being in Ridgeland/Madison I wouldn't want to live anywhere else but in this perfect little town that means the world to me. It's where it all started for me, and I couldn't fathom leaving.
So. One month in. I'm trekking along. Loving, struggling, learning all the way through.
