After missing a week, you'd think I would have more pictures.

I somehow skipped a week! Well, I know why. Spanish school has started and the moment that happened, I said good-bye to my free time. My new life is 13 hour days (Monday-Friday) and when I see Jenni (dietitian) it is over 14 hours. But, I am loving it. I am LOVING Spanish school. I have the BEST teacher a girl could ask for. Her name is Pao. We talk a lot. Ok...I talk a lot😂. On day 3 we were doing adjectives, and she said talkative for me. I laughed so hard. #truth She teaches me so many things, but it isn't overwhelming. Ok that's a lie but, it isn't as bad as last time. I informed her I quit 3 weeks into lessons last time so if I make it to a month it'll be a big deal. (I am sure that's great to hear as a teacher. Sorry Pao.) But, I plan to. I am seeing results. I am understanding more. I also study a lot.
Christ is giving me such power to sustain myself. I don't feel like I am falling (yet). If (when) that happens, I will rearrange my life; for now I stand in awe that I have such intense days and still am madly in love with living here. If you would've told me that my life would be this crazy, I would've told you it is impossible for me. But, God. God is giving me so much joy during the craziness that, I wouldn't want my life any other way. (Ok maybe time to not eat lunch on the go would be nice.)

My every weekend hang out spot. SB. They have great cookies, and not so great WiFi.

I mentioned this on FB/insta but. It relates to running as well. February 2nd, ya girl will be attempting a 42km (26.2 mile) run. I am PUMPED. But, that emotion came after some intense shame. Johnny (my Englishman friend) and I went to sign-up. They signed him up. It comes my turn and I inform them I am doing the 42km. They looked at me like....seriously? So, the guy began to question me more than once. Johnny jumped in and told them I run a lot and can do it. The guy even asked how far I've run. Johnny goes 'She's done an Ironman' and proceeded to tell them the distances. That was a great moment to watch their faces. 😎 So, that moment was something. I felt such shame that I shouldn't be running that far. Because I don't look like a distance runner, despite being one. But, no. The story doesn't end there. After feeling defeated, I picked up myself, ordered lunch, and continued my recovery journey. It might be rocky right now but, this stupid guys comment will not set me back. (Easier said than done.) Meg-1. Eating disorder-0.
SO. I am running 42km in 2 weeks. I can't wait. Do Peru runs get their own category since it's so high above sea level? I think so. I did my last long run and I needed the confidence it gave me. I felt strong. Empowered. Capable. Awesome.

Johnny, and his sweet daughter. We signed up together and grabbed a 'cuppa' after.

Something interesting is happening. So lemme back up real quick. We realized I needed a dietician and blah blah blah I got connected back to Jenni. Jenni was my first dietitian at Fairhaven who I clicked SO well with. When she left I was so sad, because I never thought I'd have her guidance in my life again. Until now. I am SO blessed and blown away by God for my stellar treatment team. The best dietitian for me, and the best therapist for me. All in Peru. Who'da thought? God. That's who.

So, Jenni realized something that I've known but, she is calling it out. I have INTENSE food aversions here. Separate from my eating disorder mind you. I mean they overlap of course, but, that's not where it's based. I don't want to try anything. I eat the same 10 foods and have been for 6 months. I honestly had just accepted my fate of living off PB&J's, chicken, potatoes, pasta, chickpeas, nuts, and cookies. However, praise the Lord for Jenni seeing more than I say. She said, why don't you eat more. I said, it freaks me out. And, that is where everyone else says 'oh it's because you're in a different culture-you'll get used to it.' Sorry people, but that might be for some people, but with crazy food aversions, that just isn't possible. Jenni told me, 'nothing changes, if nothing changes.' And though that was hard to hear, she is SO right. So, I have made a few things I haven't done yet here. It isn't easy, but it is nice to have new foods (old foods because it's stuff I eat in the states mind you-these are not crazy things.)

Chachani was just so beautiful with the snow, I had to snap a quick picture.

AnaLu and I talk about so so many intense things lately, and she made a comment basically saying that she is thankful I am in a mentally good place to be able to handle these topics. And, she's right. A few weeks ago I was struggling to stay afloat. I couldn't talk about anything other than the consuming darkness. (Blog attached.) But, I am out of the darkness. I am back into light, and for that I am thankful. I am glad I don't struggle with looking to 5 months later when the same thing will happen. I am learning and truly living in each day. I am enjoying so many beautiful parts of life. I am endlessly thankful for the ability to talk about such intense things, and to be able to support my friends after they supported me so much.
So, life ain't stopping, but it's so good. It isn't perfect, and struggles are real, but Christ is bigger than them all. He came for all my mess ups, and what news that is!