I sit here in my room at 1am simply throwing a huge pity party-at the most random time. Two of my best friends and I had a 'date night' with each other-MC, Jen, and I. We are a crazy trio. We talked all about silly girl stuff (and crazy awkward things) and it was simply wonderful. I am indeed incredibly BLESSED by them because it is SUCH a God moment of how we became so close. I just know God chuckles everytime we reunite. And I am also getting mega-into the musical. Just getting to make beautiful music with so many passionate people; nothing describes the feeling. I can hardly wait to perform it; musical theatre anyone? So right now would be the 'prime time' for me to not yearn for Ottawa and just BE here; Satan really has a way of screwing things up.
WARNING: THIS IS MY HEARTS RANT OF MY FEELINGS OF BEING IN U.S. VS. OTTAWA
I was showing Jen my Canada scrapbooks and MC came and looked over them again. And they commented on how pretty I looked in a lot of the pictures (note: NOT point of this) however I did NOTHING different than I do here in the states. It looked like the same ole' me. However one of them made a comment that is sticking with me. One of them told me that I just looked genuinely happy in every Ottawa picture I have. And it clicked-again (Becca and I were chatting about this a little white ago). That I am joyful here in America- I do genuinely LOVE school. And we are commanded to be joyful always and I genuinely strive to do so. However a lot of the time it's stressful and busy and just time consumed. In Ottawa it was oh so different. I was just purely happy with the point of life I was in. Not desiring to be somewhere else-but I lived each moment to the fullest. Now I am here in America simply reminiscing each moment-yearning to relive them. Wishing I could relive my dance parties and 'I love you' moments with Lillie and the fam., or random talks and life lessons from Carrie, or my beautiful !group experiences, or 1-on-1 dates with people. I can't go a day without genuinely having to pray my heart back to MC-because without Him my heart would still be at C!C. Everytime someone says (it STILL happens-DAILY) anything about, "How was your summer?", or, "You went to Canada right?". I can't help but let my heart momentarily venture back to those days as I talk about how wonderful of a summer experience I had.
However for some reason I have NEVER felt the calling or the nudge from Him to live there. Which absolutely freaks me out. How can I fall madly in love with some place, but not have the 'feeling' to live there; I simply don't. So I konw I won't ever live there-so why does my heart yearn to be there so badly? I wish I could figure it out. It is SUCH a spiritual warfare life right now. My flesh yearns for Ottawa, while my Spirit knows that MC is where I am placed for the time of life. I have found SUCH freedom from sin in Christ this summer- that now I need to transfer that freedom into the fact that I am PLACED here at MC and find the freedom of not desiring to be in two places at once; for such a time is this!
Ok my random rant is over and I feel oh so better. I didn't want to post this one to facebook-fearing comments about myself or how-to feel better about life. Because quite frankly I know most of it-I just wanted to throw my thoughts out to those who would read!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
random ramblings and Issac
Well as I sit here in Aven lobby contemplating that I am a junior in university and that I am attempting to be MC's first double emphasis music education major-I probably should not sit here-however with this weather I just feel like sitting here with my Cups coffee and chilling; so I am.
Classes have started and I absolutely love them as much as I did last year. I am just incredibly thankful for the feeling of KNOWING in my heart, soul, mind, and body that double music edu. is the way for me. I also love this because my quiet times have started being consistant because I am such a scheduled person. I love starting every day with quality time in prayer and soaking in His word. It makes me wish I did it in Canada-however you live and learn right.
I am getting to know my kids, and know more of them everyday. I am deeply in love with each one, and I just know the Lord is going to move in mighty ways this year; He already has. We had our first rez life night and as an RA staff we each made a dessert and at the max planned for 80; we had 180 come. However the Lord LITERALLY multiplied our food. We had LEFTOVERS of numerous, delicous desserts and each girl got plenty; some got seconds.
I got to car worship with my KT twin-Becca and we saw the BEGINNING and END of a rainbow. I had never seen a base before so that was simply stunning. It was great to just scream, sing to God with my sister, with the wind in our faces. I will forever love my Jesus car time. It was also great to spend my Sabbath with her; I am doing the Sabbath forever for sure. I am glad the Lord brought to my eyes how vital the Sabbath is for my week.
I have to address the fact that I still miss Canada-daily. I don't go a day without thinking about my Canadian family, my C!C family, and my !group's. I miss the intimate community, however I am striving to recreate it here; though it's tough becasue instead of it being created for me, I am the one creating. However I know I will get to be with them ALL one day again. GLORY!
Now for the crazy weather we have been having. There is a hurricane in the gulf of Mexico and is plummeting my house as I type. And I am here in Clinton, MS; about to go play the piano. It's my first hurricane not in Gulfport and it's wierd seeing the posts and not BE one posting. My heart is with my family; praying that all goes well. It has been 7 years TODAY since Katrina terrorized the Gulf Coast. Restoration has indeed occured and it's beautiful. I think it is amusing that Issac came on the EXACT day Katrina did. I feel like the Lord is just laughing saying that there is indeed more to this day than Katrina; that the world does occur despite it.
I can hardly wait to see what the Lord has in store for me to learn this year because I have not a clue what to expect; that is what makes it all the more sweet.
Classes have started and I absolutely love them as much as I did last year. I am just incredibly thankful for the feeling of KNOWING in my heart, soul, mind, and body that double music edu. is the way for me. I also love this because my quiet times have started being consistant because I am such a scheduled person. I love starting every day with quality time in prayer and soaking in His word. It makes me wish I did it in Canada-however you live and learn right.
I am getting to know my kids, and know more of them everyday. I am deeply in love with each one, and I just know the Lord is going to move in mighty ways this year; He already has. We had our first rez life night and as an RA staff we each made a dessert and at the max planned for 80; we had 180 come. However the Lord LITERALLY multiplied our food. We had LEFTOVERS of numerous, delicous desserts and each girl got plenty; some got seconds.
I got to car worship with my KT twin-Becca and we saw the BEGINNING and END of a rainbow. I had never seen a base before so that was simply stunning. It was great to just scream, sing to God with my sister, with the wind in our faces. I will forever love my Jesus car time. It was also great to spend my Sabbath with her; I am doing the Sabbath forever for sure. I am glad the Lord brought to my eyes how vital the Sabbath is for my week.
I have to address the fact that I still miss Canada-daily. I don't go a day without thinking about my Canadian family, my C!C family, and my !group's. I miss the intimate community, however I am striving to recreate it here; though it's tough becasue instead of it being created for me, I am the one creating. However I know I will get to be with them ALL one day again. GLORY!
Now for the crazy weather we have been having. There is a hurricane in the gulf of Mexico and is plummeting my house as I type. And I am here in Clinton, MS; about to go play the piano. It's my first hurricane not in Gulfport and it's wierd seeing the posts and not BE one posting. My heart is with my family; praying that all goes well. It has been 7 years TODAY since Katrina terrorized the Gulf Coast. Restoration has indeed occured and it's beautiful. I think it is amusing that Issac came on the EXACT day Katrina did. I feel like the Lord is just laughing saying that there is indeed more to this day than Katrina; that the world does occur despite it.
I can hardly wait to see what the Lord has in store for me to learn this year because I have not a clue what to expect; that is what makes it all the more sweet.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Round 3-let's do this!
Well the freshman have moved into New Women's East. Our quiet little dorm with semi-creepy eerieness at midnight is now a loud rambunctous sanctuary for a new chapter of life. Went to bed past midnight and woke up at 630; makes me think of my 'normal' routine from now on. We saw each beautiful girl that will live within our vacinity and helped them get semi-ok with where they are. It is referred to as 'the super bowl for Rez Life'; I could not agree more. After a few hours of sitting and explaining the inventory or doing the computer I was feeling oh so drained and just cried out to God for His joy to be my strength. So a little bit after I decided to go walk my hall and individually meet my girls; it was just what I needed! The Lord uses such practical things to accomplish His purposes sometimes. We also had 'late night mission' where we just worship the Lord on the roof and have a few girls share their heart. It was a wonderful time of worship with my new found sisters in Christ. I am anxious to get to know their hearts and to share mine.
Now all my friends are here at school and there are so many things I yearn to do different comparing to last year b/w RA world and friend world. For one, I would like to keep the close friends I do have, and not strain the relationships b/w them because of my hall. However with that I desire to get to know the girls that I don't have as much in common with in the beginning. If you are reading this, you know I am not girly or sporty. I have a bit of those girls so I hope to get into their lives quicker because I would love to just know their hearts. As well as the girls more 'like me'...whatever that means; I desire to know them just as well. So with that it is ALL about time management. Which I do think I do a good job on because of my life state and major. The Lord has blessed me to not procrastinate, though I have my own set of struggles; that is not one. So it is more about BALANCING my friend group vs. my kids; I know it will go better becasuse I plan to be proactive about it. So that is something I am striving and praying to do differently.
Now it is time for welcome week with the kiddos, and the first set of classes for all.
Round 3 of school, round 2 of being in music, and round 1 for double music education-let's do this!
Chelsey, Em, and I at check-in!
Also we had our RA commissioning service the night before move-in. It was SUCH a beautiful picture of what Christ's body looks like. People were sitting, standing, praying, singing, crying, laughing; all in the name of the Lord. Then each staff took a turn praying for a staff and then being prayed for. Chrestman (our brother dorm) prayed over us and it was one of THE coolest 'spiritual' experience of my life. Just getting to be physically close with my staff and then the guys laying hands and pouring over us; it was bliss.
However before that I just had a moment at dinner where I just felt Satan attacking my thoughts about honestly-judging other people. Now usually when that happened before I went to Ottawa-C!C I would never say anything about Satan doing it or demanding Him to leave my mind. However Carrie would just sometimes tell Satan to get behind her and I really respected that; she realized how REAL spiritual warfare really is. So without even thinking I physically just pleaded for Satan to leave my mind; though it was semi-awkward after it was a cool moment within to see the war b/w flesh and spirit.Now all my friends are here at school and there are so many things I yearn to do different comparing to last year b/w RA world and friend world. For one, I would like to keep the close friends I do have, and not strain the relationships b/w them because of my hall. However with that I desire to get to know the girls that I don't have as much in common with in the beginning. If you are reading this, you know I am not girly or sporty. I have a bit of those girls so I hope to get into their lives quicker because I would love to just know their hearts. As well as the girls more 'like me'...whatever that means; I desire to know them just as well. So with that it is ALL about time management. Which I do think I do a good job on because of my life state and major. The Lord has blessed me to not procrastinate, though I have my own set of struggles; that is not one. So it is more about BALANCING my friend group vs. my kids; I know it will go better becasuse I plan to be proactive about it. So that is something I am striving and praying to do differently.
Now it is time for welcome week with the kiddos, and the first set of classes for all.
Round 3 of school, round 2 of being in music, and round 1 for double music education-let's do this!
Monday, August 13, 2012
RA training week!
Well I did make it to America-though it took my heart 5 days to get here-ALL of me is back. I have so earnestly prayed that it would join me at RA training and it totally has. So praise for that.
My one day back at home was filled with wonderful memories and meaningful talks with my best friends. Then up to school I came and here I am at RA training. It is crazy-I am staying up past midnight every night; foreshadowing? I hope not!
It is still semi-wierd to not be in my 'element' of C!C. I miss how genuine life was there; I miss living with a Christian FAMILY. I live with Christian girls who are my 'family' however I mean literally a family. I really hope the Lord has it in His plan for me to revisit for a few weeks. Either way I know I will see each of them again at the feet of Jesus-PRAISE HIM!
One afternoon in particular we were decorating some butcher paper and 'Liberty' came on the shuffle of music and during the 'It is done!' I wanted so badly to grab Lillie's hands and spin, or just jump up and down with the Byer's-looking totally rediculous, but our hearts just crying out to the Lord in one voice. Certain songs makes me yearn to see them again; to experience that liason of worship.
One thing I have learned at RA training is that-I AM ENTHUSIASTIC. So-my worshipping of the Lord will look different than a traditionalist; it should actually. I am uniquely created, so wouldn't it only make since that my worship of a unique God can and should look unique for my personality. Example: I worship through nature and crazy loud music. My friend Margaret worships through doctorinal studies and traditional hymns. And praise be to God that we are both bringing glory to the same God who chose us and formed us to do so..
Things that will keep me 'busy':
-RA
-RA ( I felt it deserves two counts)
-Band
-Choir
-Musical
-Class (obviously)
-in particular-BIOLOGY (ugh)
-Trumpet lessons
-Piano lessons
-Voice lessons
-KT
-friendships that I desire to keep/restore
I say all of that to say; I am dedicated to the Lord and being with Him because He loves me so much to save me; to redeem me from my awful sinful nature. So in response I want to want to just spend quality time with Him because I mean-have you freaking seen a sunset over the beach. If that doesn't just SCREAM of God's glory, I don't know what does. So I don't want my time with God to be under my 'busy' category. I want Him to alter and BE my 'busy' category. Because it is only because of Him I am even here-for real. Considering my major(s) now I KNOW my strength will NOT come from myself but from Him who supplies it.
So bring it on Junior year. If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
My one day back at home was filled with wonderful memories and meaningful talks with my best friends. Then up to school I came and here I am at RA training. It is crazy-I am staying up past midnight every night; foreshadowing? I hope not!
It is still semi-wierd to not be in my 'element' of C!C. I miss how genuine life was there; I miss living with a Christian FAMILY. I live with Christian girls who are my 'family' however I mean literally a family. I really hope the Lord has it in His plan for me to revisit for a few weeks. Either way I know I will see each of them again at the feet of Jesus-PRAISE HIM!
One afternoon in particular we were decorating some butcher paper and 'Liberty' came on the shuffle of music and during the 'It is done!' I wanted so badly to grab Lillie's hands and spin, or just jump up and down with the Byer's-looking totally rediculous, but our hearts just crying out to the Lord in one voice. Certain songs makes me yearn to see them again; to experience that liason of worship.
One thing I have learned at RA training is that-I AM ENTHUSIASTIC. So-my worshipping of the Lord will look different than a traditionalist; it should actually. I am uniquely created, so wouldn't it only make since that my worship of a unique God can and should look unique for my personality. Example: I worship through nature and crazy loud music. My friend Margaret worships through doctorinal studies and traditional hymns. And praise be to God that we are both bringing glory to the same God who chose us and formed us to do so..
Things that will keep me 'busy':
-RA
-RA ( I felt it deserves two counts)
-Band
-Choir
-Musical
-Class (obviously)
-in particular-BIOLOGY (ugh)
-Trumpet lessons
-Piano lessons
-Voice lessons
-KT
-friendships that I desire to keep/restore
I say all of that to say; I am dedicated to the Lord and being with Him because He loves me so much to save me; to redeem me from my awful sinful nature. So in response I want to want to just spend quality time with Him because I mean-have you freaking seen a sunset over the beach. If that doesn't just SCREAM of God's glory, I don't know what does. So I don't want my time with God to be under my 'busy' category. I want Him to alter and BE my 'busy' category. Because it is only because of Him I am even here-for real. Considering my major(s) now I KNOW my strength will NOT come from myself but from Him who supplies it.
So bring it on Junior year. If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Running towards the cheese-part two
Well here we are again.
I am 'running towards the cheese' yet again. I am in Ottawa airport delayed an hour. Thus my other connection got changed so I am not getting back til 4 when I was supposed to at 12. Lunch will not be with my best friends and dad and grandma; instead it will be in dang Charlotte, NC. (I am praying for a chic-fil-a!)
I am tired and emotional; the airport is cold (though I should NOT complain) but I don't have a jacket; I am already tired of waiting; I am ready to just GET to NO. But no. I feel like this is my reminder AGAIN to just WAIT; to pause; to have ample time to debrief myself of what the heck I just did the past 2 months of my life. Instead of rushing from one plane to another I have more than enough time to just meditate and really ponder the question I will be asked a thousand times, "How was Canada?" , and have a fulfilling answer that ultimately brings the glory to Him and not I. So I am trying to have a joyful and thankful heart about all of this; I know He'll provide it.
I was walking with J to the terminal (in tears-I'm telling you emotional day all before the sun came up! On that note it was really awkward to walk through security/customs teary-eyed-UGH!) anyways and I just stated I could hardly believe I just spent my summer in OTTAWA. Y'all this is something I would have never said I would do but the Lord's plans are SO much bigger than my own.
I had the best 'see ya laters' a girl could ask for and Amy made this mega-cute scrapbook thing of the C1C family writing/praying for me. And Caitlin made me this cute 'scrapjournal' of things for me to answer/journal so I can remember each aspect of my trip. I will cherish them both forever.
I can hardly wait to scrapbook in them both and create my memorabilia of C!C 2012.
Me with my last iced capp from Timmy's! It will be missed!
I am 'running towards the cheese' yet again. I am in Ottawa airport delayed an hour. Thus my other connection got changed so I am not getting back til 4 when I was supposed to at 12. Lunch will not be with my best friends and dad and grandma; instead it will be in dang Charlotte, NC. (I am praying for a chic-fil-a!)
I am tired and emotional; the airport is cold (though I should NOT complain) but I don't have a jacket; I am already tired of waiting; I am ready to just GET to NO. But no. I feel like this is my reminder AGAIN to just WAIT; to pause; to have ample time to debrief myself of what the heck I just did the past 2 months of my life. Instead of rushing from one plane to another I have more than enough time to just meditate and really ponder the question I will be asked a thousand times, "How was Canada?" , and have a fulfilling answer that ultimately brings the glory to Him and not I. So I am trying to have a joyful and thankful heart about all of this; I know He'll provide it.
I was walking with J to the terminal (in tears-I'm telling you emotional day all before the sun came up! On that note it was really awkward to walk through security/customs teary-eyed-UGH!) anyways and I just stated I could hardly believe I just spent my summer in OTTAWA. Y'all this is something I would have never said I would do but the Lord's plans are SO much bigger than my own.
I had the best 'see ya laters' a girl could ask for and Amy made this mega-cute scrapbook thing of the C1C family writing/praying for me. And Caitlin made me this cute 'scrapjournal' of things for me to answer/journal so I can remember each aspect of my trip. I will cherish them both forever.
I can hardly wait to scrapbook in them both and create my memorabilia of C!C 2012.
Though I know the Lord will move my heart back to MS-a part of it will forever be within this family for sure. How can this NOT steal your heart away!?
Ok Lord willing (which I have watched change before my eyes) the next time I blog I will be in the MC bubble writing my pondering of transitioning back to 'normal' life.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Q & A about my time in Ottawa!
First off. I have decided I blog at THE most random times.Now. It's been another week and it was the best 'last' week in Ottawa I could ask for. Nothing spectacular, but just a 'normal' work week with my 'normal' events. Which is EXACTLY what I wanted. To cherish each moment.
I have been getting asked some pretty kind of summer M sterotypical deep questions-which makes my time here feel all the more family like; that people actually care to know how I liked it; what was hard; what I'll miss; what I learned. It's been really great having that becasue then it MAKES me ponder the answers because I was going to wait to ponder those til I got on the plane however praise to the Lord for my C!C family. So I decided it would be best to answer those questions in-depth here once and for all; and so when asked I can short answer and say 'look at my blog' :)
Top 3 things I'll miss most:
-living with the Byers would be first. I have genuinely loved each and every moment at this household and it has shaped a lot of what I yearn for my future house to epitomize. With that these kiddos that if you haven't realized have stolen my heart. I gotta get it back from them-soon! They will always hold the key to a special place in my heart for sure. It's not my house, but my home here.
-my C!C 'family feel' would be second for sure. I love my church family back at home and it IS my family-but nothing is ever going to compare to my two months here and how 'in' I felt. I forgot often that I am the newbie and haven't been 'in' for years but a mere weeks. But I was immediently welcomed with open arms; thank you C!C family. I loved how loving and genuine each person is and it's a unique group of people that I feel has 'church' about as close as it will get.
-intentional bus time would fall number three for sure. My bus time has radically changed my prayer life. It was THE best talks with the Lord and I hope to stay this intimate with Him in the fall.
What was the hardest thing:
I struggle with this question because I honestly have LOVED every moment here. No one really got on my nerves (unless moments of screaming kids), and one 'thing' wasn't awful. So my struggling moments were not 'things' that were tough or people. The hardest thing was definitely spiritual warfare. Satan definitely showed His face often in my path; trying to lie to me and let me not grow. Satan was showing me to believe that I was dong a bad job, or that I didn't need to try and address sin in my life, or that my time here wasn't worth-while because of HOW many 'little' things I did. However the Lord supernaturally worked His power and interceeded on my behalf.
What have I learned:
I have maybe not learned so much but as I have said before experienced so many things here. I have touched on most of them in previous blogs but it feels nice to condense it all.
-I learned practically what a Sabbath looks like in my day of liife. And how to put it to use when I go back to school. To just BE with Him and rest; cease from things that aren't NEEDED for the day.
-I learned what a godly household looks like. What it looks like to parent in a Christ-honoring way. I do believe my parents' did a great job; just not a Christian one. So it was great to LIVE in a house that serves Him with their whole heart.
-I saw what it looks like to be genuine and transparent about everyday life. I have felt the most 'me' moments because everything here isn't necessary practical, but Jesus-which surpasses everything eh.
-I learned and experienced just how VITAL prayer is in fighting sin in life. It's been so cool to see the Lord literally take my sinful flesh desiring heart, and change it to a Christ-yearning heart. I feel my 'head to heart' transplant has occured in parts of my heart that have needed to and it's been awesome to watch it happen before my eyes. With that I have experienced true freedom in Christ and it is THE best feeling to know despite how much we screw up; our citizenship isn't in that but is in Heaven and in Him and we are free from the chains of sin; He has set us free-PRAISE!
-Finally I experienced what it means to genuinely work for the Lord and not man. Fact being I am not a 'normal' summer M; I did so many little tasks its obscene. However the Lord knew they all needed to be done and I had the time to do it. So it was awesome getting to serve in not a 'huge' capacity, but with a huge heart ONLY from Him.
Am I ready to come home:
I also struggle with this because I am SO flip-floppy. My flesh literally wants 100% to stay in Ottawa with my family and friends here and wants 100% to go back to my other family and friends back in MS. So you can pray that August 6 the Lord will take my heart from Ottawa and move it back to MS. I know after this summer He can do whatever He wants with my heart, so I have faith that He will complete this one also. Though I still have my few last days; everything is closing and it's perfect. I do feel my time here is coming to a close and that is something the Lord knows I need to feel in order to let my heart go back to MS.
Do I plan to come back to C!C:
I genuinely hope that the Lord has it planned for me to come back and 'relive' a lot of the vital things I have learned and grasped from my time here. I have invested and been invested in too deeply to never come back. However the Lord knows that one day we will all reunite at His feet and maybe that is His plan. So my answer is 'hopefully'. I would love to come back next summer for a few weeks to see everyone again. However it depends how He wants me to spend my money and what would be best for His kingdom; a 2 week trip to Canada to chill and see my 'other' family, or a 2 week mission trip. So we shall see-it's nice to know He already knows the answer-so no worries!
How to pray for me now:
-pray that my last 2 days here is of Him and that I still desire to serve despite my 'list' is complete.
-pray that AUGUST 6 the Lord take my heart of Ottawa and put it back in MS.
-pray that my transition back into my 'normal' life will be simple and not too overwhelming.
-pray that the CM here at C!C will transition back easily into not having me be the intern
So. There is my trip in one long blog form. If you made it to the end then congratulations! We survived the summer together! I have had the best summer of my 20 years on Earth and I hope to re-unite with these beautiful servants of Him. However we all are on the same page here that one day we all will reunite at the feet of Jesus in Heaven! PRAISE THE LORD!!
Next blog I will be back at MC back in my first life transitioning back into the MC bubble!
I have been getting asked some pretty kind of summer M sterotypical deep questions-which makes my time here feel all the more family like; that people actually care to know how I liked it; what was hard; what I'll miss; what I learned. It's been really great having that becasue then it MAKES me ponder the answers because I was going to wait to ponder those til I got on the plane however praise to the Lord for my C!C family. So I decided it would be best to answer those questions in-depth here once and for all; and so when asked I can short answer and say 'look at my blog' :)
Top 3 things I'll miss most:
-living with the Byers would be first. I have genuinely loved each and every moment at this household and it has shaped a lot of what I yearn for my future house to epitomize. With that these kiddos that if you haven't realized have stolen my heart. I gotta get it back from them-soon! They will always hold the key to a special place in my heart for sure. It's not my house, but my home here.
-my C!C 'family feel' would be second for sure. I love my church family back at home and it IS my family-but nothing is ever going to compare to my two months here and how 'in' I felt. I forgot often that I am the newbie and haven't been 'in' for years but a mere weeks. But I was immediently welcomed with open arms; thank you C!C family. I loved how loving and genuine each person is and it's a unique group of people that I feel has 'church' about as close as it will get.
-intentional bus time would fall number three for sure. My bus time has radically changed my prayer life. It was THE best talks with the Lord and I hope to stay this intimate with Him in the fall.
What was the hardest thing:
I struggle with this question because I honestly have LOVED every moment here. No one really got on my nerves (unless moments of screaming kids), and one 'thing' wasn't awful. So my struggling moments were not 'things' that were tough or people. The hardest thing was definitely spiritual warfare. Satan definitely showed His face often in my path; trying to lie to me and let me not grow. Satan was showing me to believe that I was dong a bad job, or that I didn't need to try and address sin in my life, or that my time here wasn't worth-while because of HOW many 'little' things I did. However the Lord supernaturally worked His power and interceeded on my behalf.
What have I learned:
I have maybe not learned so much but as I have said before experienced so many things here. I have touched on most of them in previous blogs but it feels nice to condense it all.
-I learned practically what a Sabbath looks like in my day of liife. And how to put it to use when I go back to school. To just BE with Him and rest; cease from things that aren't NEEDED for the day.
-I learned what a godly household looks like. What it looks like to parent in a Christ-honoring way. I do believe my parents' did a great job; just not a Christian one. So it was great to LIVE in a house that serves Him with their whole heart.
-I saw what it looks like to be genuine and transparent about everyday life. I have felt the most 'me' moments because everything here isn't necessary practical, but Jesus-which surpasses everything eh.
-I learned and experienced just how VITAL prayer is in fighting sin in life. It's been so cool to see the Lord literally take my sinful flesh desiring heart, and change it to a Christ-yearning heart. I feel my 'head to heart' transplant has occured in parts of my heart that have needed to and it's been awesome to watch it happen before my eyes. With that I have experienced true freedom in Christ and it is THE best feeling to know despite how much we screw up; our citizenship isn't in that but is in Heaven and in Him and we are free from the chains of sin; He has set us free-PRAISE!
-Finally I experienced what it means to genuinely work for the Lord and not man. Fact being I am not a 'normal' summer M; I did so many little tasks its obscene. However the Lord knew they all needed to be done and I had the time to do it. So it was awesome getting to serve in not a 'huge' capacity, but with a huge heart ONLY from Him.
Am I ready to come home:
I also struggle with this because I am SO flip-floppy. My flesh literally wants 100% to stay in Ottawa with my family and friends here and wants 100% to go back to my other family and friends back in MS. So you can pray that August 6 the Lord will take my heart from Ottawa and move it back to MS. I know after this summer He can do whatever He wants with my heart, so I have faith that He will complete this one also. Though I still have my few last days; everything is closing and it's perfect. I do feel my time here is coming to a close and that is something the Lord knows I need to feel in order to let my heart go back to MS.
Do I plan to come back to C!C:
I genuinely hope that the Lord has it planned for me to come back and 'relive' a lot of the vital things I have learned and grasped from my time here. I have invested and been invested in too deeply to never come back. However the Lord knows that one day we will all reunite at His feet and maybe that is His plan. So my answer is 'hopefully'. I would love to come back next summer for a few weeks to see everyone again. However it depends how He wants me to spend my money and what would be best for His kingdom; a 2 week trip to Canada to chill and see my 'other' family, or a 2 week mission trip. So we shall see-it's nice to know He already knows the answer-so no worries!
How to pray for me now:
-pray that my last 2 days here is of Him and that I still desire to serve despite my 'list' is complete.
-pray that AUGUST 6 the Lord take my heart of Ottawa and put it back in MS.
-pray that my transition back into my 'normal' life will be simple and not too overwhelming.
-pray that the CM here at C!C will transition back easily into not having me be the intern
So. There is my trip in one long blog form. If you made it to the end then congratulations! We survived the summer together! I have had the best summer of my 20 years on Earth and I hope to re-unite with these beautiful servants of Him. However we all are on the same page here that one day we all will reunite at the feet of Jesus in Heaven! PRAISE THE LORD!!
Next blog I will be back at MC back in my first life transitioning back into the MC bubble!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)