His power is enough.

Last time I blogged everything was just beginning as far as my 'new' major and this whole tri thing.  Since then God has only proven Himself more and more powerful and it's beautiful.

I have seen God transform me in my heart, and watch Him transform my desires, and see Him transform other peoples hearts.  I watch Him work in me daily to overcome sin, or overcome being overwhelmed.  However I haven't actually watched Him overcome me PHYSICALLY.  Ok-I take that back.  That one time I should have died or something from my gallbladder stuff...that was ONLY God making everything happen so fast so it didn't rupture and me be poisoned and all.  Details- start reading in July with this blog.

good times....
for the record I don't remember taking this! *drugged up!*

Ok so this is take 2.  However I think I see why He wants me to do the tri.  He has a desire to prove just HOW powerful He really is and He sees I needed to see it in a different manner; through me doing something I thought I would never do.  FYI:  I don't look like a 'fit' person; I don't 'look' like someone who is in shape or who desires to do this.  FYI:  God tends to throw curve balls.  Here is mine.  Every time I watch myself progress I see only the majesty of God working through me.  I didn't think I would ever be able to do more than a 'lap' that Laura and I do, and last night we did a lap and a half, and then more after a short rest time.  As I rounded the corner to start lap two I had no other words than simply praise be to God who provides immensely more than I can imagine.  So I can hardly wait to be able to do 2 laps, then 2 1/2, then 3 and so on to get to the goal of a 5k.

I just love this kid the more and more we train together.
I didn't realize the awesome friendship I would deepen through this process!

I also am starting to read through Mark with Ashleigh, reading through Romans with my hall, and _______ with my friend group bible study.  I am in a continual state of learning more from God and through God that is apply directly to my life; awesome and convicting.

Not very much going on in my life outside of school, tri, and Jesus.  I think I am becoming addicted to sleep. No really.  I am waking up later, but still go to bed around the same time.  I am averaging 7 1/2 hours of sleep.  I know-crazy.  But in the triangle of school:  study, friends, sleep; one has to give.  Each semester varies, and this semester 'friends' is the lacking one.  I always am asked where I am around campus.  my answer:  Aven, or my room.  Yup-I am either in class, doing class things, or seeping.  So FYI:  that is where I am-nothing personal.  :)

BLT with Laura, B.A. major; what a lifestyle only with Him!

Well-it's been over a week of training for a TRIATHLON with my wonderful friend, and little, Laura on June 29th in Tupelo, MS.  We decided to call ourselves the 'BLT'= big little triathlon.  So we are varying our days between swimming (our weakest), running, and biking.  The tri consists of a 1/2 mile swim, 20 mile biking, and a 5k run.  So overall it will be almost 25 miles of distance.  I am PUMPED, and SORE.  I decided to track each week's success on my blog!
swim:  1/4 a mile
run:  4 miles run/walk (.70 run span multiple times)
biking:  spin class which is 15-20 miles estimated

Right now I pretty much feel like I am having a mini-death match with myself with I get to the end of each work-out.  However I literally just am praying to the Lord for this to be used for His glory.  In case you didn't get the memo-I don't look like a tri girl-however at this point in my life with Jesus-I should not be surprised by it because through Him I can overcome anything.  Including swimming 1/2 a mile!

Laura, one of my littles, and my Tri partner!

On another note:  I am officially a B.A. music major with a TESOL minor, and Chinese as my language.  I will take Cross-Cultural Understanding this semester, and start my TESOL and Chinese classes in the fall.  I am dropping education after a LONG process of teary nights and constant prayer over it all.  Culminating to talking to Meaders about it and him agreeing it was a great choice instead of a B.M. Edu.; at that moment I just decided that is what I will do.  I wish I could say I have some great peace about it all-however I don't.  However on the other hand I see it as I see my double major-I tried, and I realized it wasn't for me; same for education in general.  Now I get to do the B. A., and it's essentially a 'create-your-own-music-degree', and it's wonderful!  I get to take the concept of my double major-of encompassing trumpet and voice, into a major-which is what I wanted from day one!  So I am excited to do it, and to start learning things I will actually use!

I am a part of a few bible studies and I am so excited to see what I will get out of them.  I am dong one on my floor about 'Romans', and just getting to learn amongst the freshman shall be glorious, then I am discipling Ashleigh and we are reading a book called 'Not A Fan' and I haven't read it so I am eager to learn and be convicted from it, and finally I am also doing one with my freshman friend group.  I am excited to share Jesus and be Jesus with them and share my life with them and hear their life, more.  My 'quiet times' are starting to be instead of simply reading the bible, doing stuff for all 3 of those things, and just seeing what the Lord wants me to get out of them all.  I know I am supposed to be doing all of them and don't plan to drop any of them; I can hardly wait to see how they will all collide in His glorious plan.

God-sized life at the God-given moment.

Right now.  As I sit here on my bed incredibly overwhelmed with life- I contemplate just quitting and moving overseas-today.  Just.  Jumping on a place to go ultimately do what I know I am placed here on Earth to do.  To live with Chinese people; to live as a Christ-follower no matter what.  However, my schooling that at one time was the pinnacle to my success is becoming my mental stumbling block.  A day doesn't go by where I don't think about dropping out after the semester and moving overseas.  Don't get me wrong; I'm so glad my parents want the best for me.  However I can hardly wait for the day to graduate for so many reasons.  I mean for one-to GRADUATE.  But then because  then I know that nothing is holding me to the states.  My parents will help me get to China with their full blessings with one stipulation:  college degree.  So I will stay here for now and get the part of the equation that I promised to fulfill.

my school and bestie

However-I wish knowing that in 2 1/2 years I will move to China makes schooling this semester easier; it doesn't.  It is day 2 and I have already had a mental breakdown involving tears and just crying out to God in desperation for strength.  I keep learning from Him every moment that He will provide the strength, knowledge, stamina, focus, and everything else at the TIME I need it.  He knows when I need God-sized strength on Mondays, but that on Thursday's I need God-given focus to do my homework.  It's cool seeing God's characteristics happen on a college campus in any given week.

The last time I blogged was about what happened at Passion 2013 and what all I learned knowledge wise and what my heart gained.  So it's been over a week and I have been through RA training and through KT officer retreat.  I have gained things on my plate and dropped things.  God has been making it very clear to me what I need to keep and drop.  I am starting to see the difference in 'good' things and 'best' things for my life.  Narrowing down my focus and being invested and investing in particular certain areas of life.

Music- it's all God-given and I can't fathom not majoring in it.  So it will always go first.  It was indeed my first love.  I loved music before I loved Jesus, and though I love Jesus insurmountably more than music,

music will have the spot in my heart as my first love.

RA-  It is my job.  I make money by basically being other girls' friends and helping them understand dorm life and live it with them.  I get to be Jesus to 26 precious girls and how I got this job is only from Jesus.

KT- Getting to find myself in a sisterhood is something that is special and makes that group of people hold a place in your heart.  KT is where I found my best friends, and I am now an officer to help to give back a portion of what KT has given to me.

Discipleship/friends- I have a place in my heart for discipleship within my friends because my mentor in high school, Lindy was a crucial part of my growing in the Lord.  Getting to go through life with her was amazing and if I could be half of what she was to me, I know the Lord will look down and smile at His children.  I also just love people.  I know relationships are what I was created for and will always make time for them.

International students- I will always have a 'conversation partner' because let's face it.  I love international students; I feel in place with them.  So at the least getting to intentionally know one (and some of their friends) a semester is always a wonderful, challenging, fulfilling part of the week.

Passion 2013's doings to my heart

As you see-this is the blog about what the Lord did in my life in 4 days at Passion 2013.  Let's jump in.

The dome.  Oh yes.  Jesus gathers His people.

I really thrived into the phrase of, 'God help my unbelief!'  I struggle almost daily with doubts of God's power.  That HE really does have the power to change hearts; He can let anyone come to Him at His time.  I often don't believe it, but I need to pray Satan's out of that one.

Something I didn't mention in my notes because I don't know who said it was discipleship.  That you experience Christ's love at its' finest though discipleship with another sister in Christ.  Before going to Passion I facebooked a woman at church and asked her to disciple me, so I am excited about that Lord willing.  However I have been discipled once, but I have never discipled someone; until now.  I was convicted to disciple my child, Ashleigh.  She was my suite-mate last year and for some reason the Lord laid on my heart to do so.  I am excited and terrified to be a part of someone's spiritual growth.  

John Piper was most convicting about EMBRACING suffering.  I always look at suffering that when I move overseas I will endure suffering.  I think I can bring myself through God to that reality.  However looking at it as embracing it is another ballpark and is something only God can bring to light for me.  I don't embrace suffering, but I need to.

Louie talking about how our testament to the world is our scars-them being healed.  I really hate with every ion in me sharing past 'this' point.  You know where your point is, and I know where my point is.  It is very distinct, and I know that is Satan in me.  I need to be OK and in fact, happy, to share my life before Christ, and what I struggle while in Christ.  That is something I want to be better with.  Being more open with my friends about my life, but my deep life also.

The valley of the dry bones story is simply emphatically awesome and I have no words of how amazing is was to listen to.  That.  These bones were DEAD, and they came to LIFE.  That is what happened to my heart 5 beautiful years ago.  I was DEAD, and am now ALIVE!

When Judah was talking about community and what not, most people were saying how convicted they were to seek that kind of community.  However I was simply in straight awe and praise to God for providing me with such wonderful friends that I genuinely already have that type of community.  It was awesome to be able to praise the Lord endlessly for my friends and see how vital they really are to my growing in Christ.

The marta.  It got crowded safe to say.

I got to meet up with Mrs. Kathy.  I met her at Passion 2010 and from there the Lord just made it really obvious He wanted us to keep in touch.  So.  We did.  Met up at Passion 2011, neither of us went to Passion 2012, so we met up at Passion 2013.  We hung out all afternoon and it was SO encouraging to re-connect with her.  I also got to meet up with Clinton White.  He is a missionary in Ukraine so it was fun talking Jesus and missions with him and what not.  To see him in person instead of like usual-through his blog and facebook. 

Things I want to apply:

-discipleship two-fold.  Being discipled and discipling.

-praying more actively for Jesus to help my unbelief in Him.

-my freedom in Christ was grasped this summer, so sharing my FREEDOM in Him from sin with my friends.

You can imagine worship in this place.

Passion 2013 notes

This is my blog for those who want to know what Passion 2013 was about.  I am going to do a separate blog after knowing all of this information and about what I learned and liked and what not and pictures.  My favorites were Beth Moore and John Piper.  So read this blog if you want to know what was learned at Passion 2013, read the next one for what happened in my personal heart and life!

The first session Louie Giglio preached on Ezekiel 37-the valley of the dry bones.  His main point was about how God wants to do immeasurably more in my life than i can imagine.  He then transitioned into Mark 9:14 about the boy convulsing and his point was that the prayer of 'help my unbelief!'.  That was my favorite part. About how we need to pray that daily-for God to work through our unbelief.

Second session was Beth Moore and she preached from Matthew 26: 17-30.  The Lord supper/passover.  So in Exodus 6:6-17 there were 4 promises with the 4 liftings of the cup from Matthew; they go together.
Cup 1- I will bring you out.
Cup 2- I will deliver you from slavery.
Cup 3- I will redeem you.
Cup 4- I will take you as my people.

The point was how NOTHING was enough except Jesus.  That each of the contents from the Passover was NOT enough.  It needed all of it-and the time it was COMPLETE was the ONE time that Jesus was sitting at the head of the table-with the bread to be BROKEN, and the the LAMB (meat and Jesus) and the horseradish being the BITTERNESS of loss/slavery and Jesus taking the opposite of what is usually done with the wine.  Saying for them to take ALL the wine from His cup, and not from their own.  That salvation was OFFERED, but not forced via the wine.

Third session was this guy named Gary who talked on slavery.  Told stories and what not so there isn't anything to write.  It was good, but it wasn't preaching so I didn't take notes.

Fourth session was Francis Chan and preached on 2 Timothy 2:11-13.  He talked about God fighting temptations for us and how when I am faithless, HE is faithful.  He also talked about 1 John 1:9 and how we need to heartily believe it.  That we are CLEAN in His eyes.

Fifth session was Judah Smith and he preached on 1 Peter 2:1-10 on community.  How God is community-so obviously we are created to NEED community.  That He is singular in nature but plural in person.  Main's all is to reflect the image of our creator but is impossible alone!  That the church's version of community is different than anyone else's community is JESUS CHRIST.  He ended with asking our best definition of words like grace, love, faithfulness, joy...and of-course everyone had idea's and he ended each one with JESUS.  He is the perfect example of it all.

The sixth session was a table-round discussion about slavery.  It was good.  No notes.

The seventh session was John Piper and He started with Revelation 5.  That worship is the subjective echo to HIS objective worth.  Admiration is the rarest and highest of pleasure.  The intensity of our joy is the demonstration of His beauty and worth.
~Embrace suffering through the path of love for the cause of liberation~
Hebrews 10: 32-36; 11:24-26; 12:1-12
All of these examples are of people JOYFULLY accepting the suffering because they saw that there ARE better things.  They looked to the reward and EMBRACED suffering.
Early Christians joyfully embraced sufferings because they saw the temporary fleeting things and the ultimate reward.
He then went into how philosophers say if you do something for the reward that it cancels out; that it is wrong motivations.  However we as Christians NEED to look to the reward and that in fact it's helpful because in process you can bring people with you to the reward as you suffer.  It was a cool way to look at life with Romans 8:31-39 in mind.

The eighth session was Louie Giglio finishing the valley of the dry bones.  That We are either living in the 'everything has changed' that day, or the waiting for it to change. IT IS ON!!! That 'I was dead and am alive'.  That needs to be our message the world!!  That our witness to the world are our healed wounds.  Jesus has His scars.   Our freedom is for freedom!