20,000 feet later.

20,000 feet/6,000 km in the air was reached about 6am on October 26, 2019.
There are so many things to say and so many emotions, that I am going to try to lay it out from the moment I left, to when I got back. Basically a 'race report' for a volcano climb.

Our crew!

8:30am me and 4 other French speaking people arrive at the agency. We get our stuff, and into a crammed SUV to go 3 hours up up up to about...I donno. 4,500 meters? Anyways, we start our what seemed to be tough trek to base camp--not even 2 hours. I thought it was so tough. Oh if future Meg only knew what was coming for her. 

Base camp.

This is what I wrote before laying down for the night.
I literally laugh at myself for being so dramatic. 

Our guide, Ronnie, mentioned that sometimes people can't sleep at high elevation. Our base camp was almost 17k feet (5k km)--serious elevation. So ladies and gentlemen, ya girl slept a total of ZERO hours that night. Wake up was around 12am, for breakfast at 12:30am, for departure at 1am. We stuck to schedule pretty well, and off we went into the night for what was going to be a tough morning. We started going up and real quickly I realized this was going to be tough. I started telling myself that I should just quit now; that I couldn't do it, but all the while I was still trekking. Poles in hand, big bookbag behind me. Next thing I knew it was time to stop and get water. We stopped about every 50 minutes to sit down/drink/eat.

One guy had to turn around about 2 hours into it because he just couldn't. So now there was no turning back--there was only 1 guide and 4 of us. A low point that is funny now, is one guy had just left from being sick, one girl was throwing up, and I was having a panic attack-at the same time. My panic attack occurred because of the negative thoughts of that I am not good enough to do this-but I worked through it. The poor guide had no idea what to do. So, we all gathered ourselves back, and off we went again-into the night. It was dark about 75% of the trek, which made it mentally TOUGH. Physical darkness is breeding ground for mental darkness. And darkness came. I had negative mantras playing in my head, but didn't stop. Crying yes-stopping no. I kept wanting the sun to rise, because I knew that meant we were getting close.

I looked behind me once the sun was up at a stopping point and started to cry because of how majestic the view was. It was truly stunning. Seeing yourself at the level of a mountain top is something that cannot be described. We weren't quite at the summit, so off we went. I kept turning around to see the view to remind me why I was still going; to see the view from the top-to be able to see 360 degrees of mountains/volcanoes under me.

I had a million layers on clearly. 

Me and the other girl were STRUGGLING our way up. I thought we had reached the summit, but turns out we had another 30 minutes to go; it was a false summit. I was so mad but had made it that far, ain't no way I was stopping there!

My fist bump buddy!

We could see the cross finally, and wow it was such a time of excitement. I reached the top with the 2 guys and our guide there congratulating me. The other girl was about 10 minutes behind us so we cheered her on. I looked around me and just started to cry because of how majestic it was. Y'all. There are no words to describe how breath-taking the sight is to see the entire world under you. There is nothing around here taller than Chachani, and wow was it incredible. There are no words available to be able to communicate the intimacy with the Lord during this time; it made all the hardships reaching the top endlessly worth it.

#nofilter

We stayed at the top for about 30 minutes then headed down. I had NO idea how tough that was going to be. It was way sandy. As in, sand went up your leg with every step you took. I had to learn new ways to walk, but could't figure it out so well. I fell about 50 times-no less, because it was so slippery with rocks and sand. At one point we SCALED the volcano. It was pretty scary. If you lost footing and fell, down down down you went. I honestly reached a low point where I needed the two guides to hold me and help me down this one tough part. It was humbling because I wanted to do it myself, but every time I tried, I would fall. Pretty sure we were all aggravated with me because they walked a little bit ahead of me because I couldn't get myself together from crying so much. It wasn't a pretty sight. Base camp was no where in sight, but I knew the longer I sat there crying, the longer I was going to be on the volcano, and I wanted OFF!

Check that out. 20,000 feet in Strava recorded!

Base camp finally came; we picked up, organized our stuff, and set off for the parking lot. Boy was the part I thought was so tough, so simple! Besides this one rocky part that got to me mentally, it didn't last long, and back to the trails we were. We reached the parking lot and yes, I cried again because I knew I was done! A small wind storm actually occurred and it was crazy. It was like a hurricane on the beach, but up on a volcano. It was blowing away our stuff, and the guys were chasing it, all the while sand was blowing by us. I personally sat there with my hat on, head down, because I was DONE.
We got back into the SUV and headed back to the agency. I felt like I was in such a daze all day because I had no idea what had happened. I had just witness the glory of God like never before, and didn't know what to do with it. I had thought about everything, yet nothing. I had moments of song lyrics, moments of repeating with every step 'better, stronger' *cred to Dave Hollis*. Moments of sadness, and joy. Unbelief I am climbing a volcano as my first climb.

This is my 'DONE!' picture. I asked the guide to take my pic and he said here? I said well I am not getting up so YEP.

So speaking of, where was God in all of this? Where was He NOT? A big crazy thing is, elevation sickness was my fear and my friends' fear for me. But, it didn't happen; not once. My head started to hurt the moment we got back to the parking lot. I literally laughed to myself and was like thanks God for making it happen now and not during any park of the trek-He knew I wouldn't of been able to handle that.
Another thing is despite my panic and tears, I didn't need any of my extra anxiety medicine. I was doing so much physical activity that I didn't even ponder needing this one specific one I couldn't take while on the volcano. Thanks God!
He was there in my darkness. While telling myself I couldn't do it, occasionally God would whisper to me to rely on Him for my strength; to fall into His arms with my tears because He can handle it. He is what started me on this journey up the volcano, and He saw it to completion with me.
When I think about the journey up and down, all I can do is praise the Lord for His goodness to let me experience it all. The intense darkness made the Light at the end have so much more goodness.

A cute small volcano. They were all around!

So folks I guess that's everything. I am sure I am forgetting some stuff, but that is the gist of it. If you are still reading thank you! Thank you for caring about my life and what all I experience moving abroad. This is one of the many reasons it's so cool. I can't wait for the next adventure, but for now I am catching up on my sleep.
Cheers!

You understand me.

~You understand me.

~So I throw all my cares before You.

My doubts and fears don't scare You.

You're bigger than I thought You were.

~I will rest in the Father's hands.

Leave the rest in the Father's hands. 

I clearly pay attention to what I wear when I walk out of the house.

I was watching Pinelakes live-stream and this glorious song came on at the end, and I realized how much it touched my heart. Literally, no one can comprehend my daily life. I speak minimal Spanish, I aimlessly teach culture classes waiting on my work visa, I read and workout a lot; I traveled across the globe (by my self) to meet and teach hundreds of new people. It is an experience that should be so much harder than it is, (praise the Lord!!) but let me not overlook that yes, it is a world that no one could've prepared for me. 

But, I am understood by the God of the universe. He knew what it would be like and He has graciously relieved me of more than I could fathom. I am understood because well...He's God. I will rest in that too. I mean, it's the only healthy option, and He helps me choose that every single day. I live in an unknown world. Sometimes the power goes out. Sometimes the water pipes freak out. Sometimes there's protests in the middle of the street; so many things we Americans take for granted. And, I am learning a whole new level of fearlessness. I am learning to throw every single day at the feet of Jesus. He is infinitely bigger than I ever imagined, and getting to experience that daily is an experience I hope to not take for granted. 

It really didn't taste good. Sad.

I live a boring, but repetitive life. It is something my therapist was adamant about to keep me in recovery. So practically what do my days look like? Get ready--it's THRILLING.
I wake up at 5:30, run/workout, shower, eat breakfast (the same thing every morning), go to school, eat lunch with my buddies, teach some, walk home, eat dinner, watch Netflix/read, go to sleep. It's basically the same thing I'd do in America. But, it's in Peru, and it's 10000000x better over here for me. 

After my longest run in AQP so far!

I am 3 weeks into #last90days with Rachel Hollis and it's been refreshing. I live seeking for gratitude moments, I pee a LOT from all the H2O I drink, I run a lot (almost 130 miles for October so far!), I am used to the sun waking me up at 5am. (Yes, the sun seriously rises about 5 am.) It is a great way to end the year on such a positive note. So many people tend to wait until January 1st to get their lives together, and by March all the hopes and dreams you thought of in January are laid by the waste side. I like last 90 days because it is a finite amount of time. It is a time to refocus and set yourself up for success.
So, life is going! Loving it still every day, and immensely thankful for all the Lord has blessed me with, and can't wait to see what the future holds.

October 17th!!!

October 17th is a holiday in the world of Meg. October 17, 2016 is when I let go of my plans for recovery and submitted to someone elses. This is the day I entered treatment in Cordova (Memphis), Tennessee. October 17, 2016 I spent more of the day crying than not. I was terrified to leave home, leave work, admit I had a ginormous problem, know my life was on the line; that is what brought me there. Seeing glimpses of what eating disoder recovery looks like is what kept me there.

One of my best friends, Candiss, selflessly drove herself with myself 3.5 hours north to drop me off at Fairhaven-my new home for what I had NO idea would be a year. Group therapy is how I spent my days for a year (minus the 12 week hiatius where I thought I was fine--lol)
Instead of being sad for the girl that entered that place, I want to celebrate the life she didnt't know was coming. I want to celebrate with her for eating chocolate covered almonds without guilt; eating ice cream for the first time shamelessly with my fellow eating disorder recovery sisters. She deserves celebration because she fought to become to person I am today. Without October 17th, there would've been no October 18th--and I'm not sure I would've made it without October 17th.
Week one of my time at FH is hilarious to read back on and so hopeful--knowing I have everything and more that girl wanted so desparately, but didn't know how to obtain. Read here if you want.

Just a small glimpse of my room--lots of pictures and notes!!

In other news, I become illegal SOON, so I have to travel to Chile to renew my tourist visa until my work visa comes. (fingers crossed SOON!) So Saturday I will travel to Tacna, (a border city) jet on over to Arica, Chile, then come back to Peru. I am not too thrilled to spend a weekend renewing my visa, but I get more stamps in my pasport so that is cool!

Mt. Misti! It's so high up it's in the clouds. Whoa. 

This is a more deep blog. But, October is such a unique month for me. I was looking through my '10 dreams' list that I developed from Rachel Hollis' list. (Pictured below.) And I realized I have accomplished FOUR of my dreams!! I have *clearly* moved overseas, become a gym goer, I eat without a meal plan, and I have not gone back to treatment! What a freaking blessing! I did this before Peru was on the horizon. 6 months later, here we are! I can hardly believe I have accomplished any of those, even more all 4.

My 10 dreams.

Otherwise life is good here! I live every single day in awe of how much I LOVE being here. It's not perfect, don't get me wrong, but it's the best I've done since leaving FH. It's the happiest I've been since leaving FH. I feel at peace and so at home here. This is where I belong for now. Praise the Lord for bringing me here. He deserves all the praise and glory for my life story-for leading me to FH, to ultimately putting me where my heart has desired to be for 7 years. 

October!

Sometimes I wish I had extravagant things to blog about, but then again, I am here living life so sometimes it´s just uneventful.

BUT.

One thing that is exciting is that it is October! That means we are within 90 days of the new year. Rachel Hollis has a yearly #last90days challenge; to end the year the way everyone intends to start the new year, but never keeps. She has something called ´5 to thrive´. That is where you: drink at least 1/2 your body weight in water in ounces everyday, move your body at least 30 minutes everyday, have a gratitude list everyday, wake up an hour earlier for you time everyday, and give up one food group/item. This is for 90 days. I decided to take on the challenge, but 4 to thrive because of my eating disorder. That would be a poor choice to intentionally cut out any food. SO it has been 9 days of it and, it´s great! I haven´t kept the waking up an hour earlier one every morning, but otherwise I´m rocking it. I feel so much better drinking so much water. I decided to do more than 1/2 my body weight because of how much I run. So I am for 90-100 oz. a day! I sure do pee a lot if we are being honest, but I feel great! I enjoy doing the gratitude list because it´s fun to reflect on the day and see the small cool things that happened I wouldn´t normally revisit. I have been working out a bit, and it´s fun to reach new numbers of heavier weights! I can´t believe I am saying I work out. Who even am I? Yes, I still run. Quite a bit actually. :)

Me on a run when I found an overpass!

It´s been fun because I convinved my friend to do it with me, so Jess (my bible reading buddy), Amanda, and I are reading through Acts together in combo with our gratitude list. One thing that blew my mind today was Acts 10. If you haven´t read the story of Cornelius and Simon Peter meeting, that is where you will find it. Overview: Cornelius had a vision from God to basically get Simon Peter to come because he would have a word from the Lord that needed to be spoken. SO. AFTER that, God appeared to Simon Peter and gave him a vision. Told Simon Peter people were coming for him and to go with them because he was to share the vision with Cornelius.
I just think it´s crazy the ornate and perfect way that God coordinated that. It was clearly something only the Spirit could do. Basically God appeared to Cornelius so Simon Peter could come and share the Gospel so he and those in the presence could recieve the Holy Spirit.
SO. COOL.

Carrying bags home are the ´norm´ here. 

OH! I found cubed cheese!!!!! It is a rarity here, so I savored every dang piece.
Anyways, the last week nothing exciting really has been happening. Running/working out, school to teach a few culture classes because #noworkvisa still, home, read/Netflix, and go to sleep. THRILLING- I know. Living in a different country still has boring, monotonous times. But-without it the exciting times wouldn´t be as exciting.