So why the skirts?

One of my good friends, Tori, went to school with me for a few years and we took some music classes together, and what not.  She is one of my sisters in Christ; she is sensitive to the Lord's spirit in that she senses when He wants her to do what we perceive as random things; but we know nothing is random in the Lord's way.  So here is a blog from her  sharing her personal convictions:  I encourage you to read it.  It's cool to see Jesus in EVERY aspect of life!

• "So why the skirts?"
• A little bit about my religious convictions and where my walk is with Christ:

  Most of the people in my life know that I wear skirts and have long hair. In my hometown there is a huge Pentecostal church that is widely known of and attended, therefore most of the time people just assume that I fit into, or follow, the Pentecostal 'standards'. The story of my religious convictions is a bit more complicated than that…

  The Summer before my Sophomore year, at a 'back to school' retreat at a small Pentecostal church in Ball, Louisiana God laid on my heart a strong conviction. I had been fervently praying that Christ give me the ability to 'speak eloquently'. I had been obsessed with the idea that I was not a good enough, or a knowledgeable enough Christian to speak to anyone about Christ. I was terrified that people would think of me as an uneducated hypocrite using the word of God as a tool to fuel my own agenda. Because of my fear most of the people at my school, and even some of my close friends and family, had no idea that I had been saved. I was seeking so desperately for God to help my light shine brighter into the community. I remember saying, 'God, I want people to know that I am a Christian as soon as I walk into a room. I want to be held to a higher standard for myself. I want others to always know that I am, or should be, representing your kingdom'. There have only been 3 times in my life that I have undoubtedly heard the voice of God answer my prayer, and this time it completely broke me. God laid on my heart a conviction to wear skirts, and have long hair from that point on.

  It's now 6 years later, and I am in a vastly different place than I was at 14. I have a stronger understanding of the word of God and organized religion. I am a more confident and educated speaker. I am now married and navigating the tail end of my college life. I have been let down and lifted up by religious figures in churches, schools, and the media. I am., to put it simply, growing…

  I have recently decided to not identify myself as a 'Pentecostal' for a few reasons. First and foremost I do not think it is my responsibility to take on the actions, good and bad, of a group of people from the last 100 years. I have met some of the kindest people in the world through my relationship with the UPC (United Pentecostal Church) , but I have also met some of the cruelest. Secondly, I simply don't agree with all of the teachings of the denomination. I believe in one true God. I believe in an ACTS 2:38 church, and I believe in baptism for the remission of sins. But you will never find me telling someone that they are going to hell for not having spoken in tongues. (In fact you will never find me telling anyone they are going to hell for any reason, because I do not know their heart, or what is written in the book of Life, or what their relationship is with Christ, or what personal journey they are on.) Thirdly, I believe that finding a group of like minded thinkers, and a Christian leader called to minister by the Lord is a wonderful thing. I do not, however, think that denominations or organized religion as a whole is helpful or necessary. I am very tired of splitting hairs with the people of my religion, and with arguing with those outside of it. It's too much time and energy being wasted. God is not the author of confusion. He will reveal the answers to my questions through his word, thoughtful prayer, and the guidance of those he puts in my life. The end.

  All of that to say…. I love my skirts. They saved me. They were my safety blanket, they forced me to learn how to match and dress myself decently, they taught me to be true to who I was and not succumb to peer pressure. For the first 2 years I had no money to buy new outfits, so the women in my community brought me their clothes. They were precious stories handed down in garbage bags from women who didn't have much to give in the first place. My skirts affirmed my trust in the power of modesty. They helped me live a lifestyle that kept me pure for my husband. They offered up countless conversations about the Lord with complete strangers. They truly changed my life.

  As I approach this new chapter in my life I can admit that I am scared. I don't know if I will always wear skirts and not cut my hair, but I know that the Lord with guide me. I will be a Theatre major for the first time next year, and I am a little terrified to be thrust into my first professional experience with costumes and shows. I don't know exactly how the next few years of my life will pan out, but I have faith in the will of the Lord. More than anything, I want to express that my relationship with Christ is more than skirts. It's about him changing me from the inside out, not the outside in. I am learning that this path was God's will for me, but that from now on I need to understand and pray that people know that I am a Christian when I walk in the room because I am allowing God to use me. My testimony and my positive influence can be a direct result of the way that I live my life, and not just what I have on.

  I ask that anyone who reads this pray for me from time to time. I hope that my story can help other people who are struggling with modesty, conviction, or anyone seeking to find the truth through all of the hazy lines being drawn by the world's view of 'religion'. 

A chapter ignored for its' beauty

Without fail the Lord has been teaching me ions and ions about Himself this summer.  And I want to remember it all, like every other summer.  I so desire to never forget the past 2 summers themes:  praying without ceasing, and freedom.  I can't wait to figure out my 'theme' of this summer.  So without further ado, here is my mini rant/blog about what I am devouring thus far.

Romans 7 is what Lindy and I have thus far memorized and decided to in-depth study, (thank you John Piper for your sermon notes.).  Just to synopsis:; Romans 7 is basically a chapter about Paul's struggle with sin as a CHRIST FOLLOWER..  It relates our relationship with Christ to a married woman and man.  And how when he dies we as the wife are free to marry apart from the law.  JUST like us and Christ.  When we die to sin, we are free to marry the one who IS love.  And the One who has conquered death, so we will be in union...married to Christ for eternity.  What a glorifying truth!  It continues with two questions.  Number one being: What shall we say then, that the law is sin?  BY NO MEANS!  And number two being:  Did that which is good then, bring death to me?  BY NO MEANS!  After each question it of-course answers itself, that our flesh is responsible, and that the very law that promised life proved itself as death to our souls because we are rebels at heart.  Then it does this whole paragraph about how we have a divided will of spirit verses flesh.  However it ends with saying how much of a wretched person I am, but THANKS BE TO GOD THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST that we can serve Him, and have the battle of sin daily.

Below is a song that has a bridge that encompasses such biblical feelings for it all.  God saying, "You are clean", and me crying back how dirty I am.  What an image.

good days are....good.

Monday is the first 'good' day I have had since getting my wisdom teeth taken out.  Met with Lindy-which always means I will have a beautiful day, and we also started volunteering at GCCM (gulf coast community ministries) which is going to be a fun experience.  It is pretty cool to see lots of people with such a servant-minded heart, and to join them in their efforts.  It is also pretty awesome to be discipled again by the woman who taught me everything I know about God's word.  So thankful to be home this summer.

Went to this thing that Jill and I are going to do together.  It is the CRAZY diet thing that I can't believe she got me into doing-but alas-here we are.  I can't wait to look legit!  Lemme tell you the things I *can't* have:  bread, cheese, any dairy items, fruit, nuts, soda, alcohol..(AKA: mostly my lifestyle currently). So I am very excited to develop new habits this summer with my sister, really sad to give up grilled cheeses, anything ending in *sandwich*, pineapple smoothies, green apple Smirnoff's, diet pepsi, and Brooklynn's, and also really anxious to see how it pans out come December (my ETA of finishing Phase 1)
We are using Ideal Protein,which coincidentally is made in my favorite place:  CANADA!

Michelle and I hung out for a little bit.  Let me take a moment to rant about how thankful I am for her.  During the school year we rarely get to see each other because we are both so involved in various activities, however the second we hit home it is like we never missed a beat.  True friendship y'all.

gotta love us.

As if my life isn't exciting enough-it just got MORE exciting.  So Thursday night Lindy and I were doing our jog thing..except we decided to walk so we could talk.  Anyways...so we were walkin' by the park, and there were 3 kitten.  I immediately said 'keep walking..keeeeep walkin'!  However I knew at that moment those cats were coming home with us...thank you Lindy the cat lover.  So we play with two of them for everr, and we do walk away-but the dang cats followed us home!! So-dad has them both at the clinic-mine has a thing on its' neck, and Lindy's has herpies (what a player).
My cats name:  Hildegard Von Bingen.  She was the first person to compose liturgical drama's.  Oh yea.

Named by my wonderful twin:  Becca.

Stay tuned for the rest of summer's crazy antics.

Surgery # 3 of life...

Well y'all I have now lost 3 parts of me:  my tonsils, my gallbladder (click: here to read a little bit!), and now my wisdom teeth.  Sheesh I am only 21!  Oh well.

Earlier this week I helped lead music for VBS and helping in a 2nd grade classroom Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and before surgery Thursday.  It was so fun getting to teach these kiddos such truth I was not exposed to as a child, and getting to see the middle school kids help lead is so touching to my heart.  VBS is always one of my favorite weeks of the year!

my "modest is hottest" dress..HAHAHA

So then dad and I drove to the oral surgeon, and off I went in the back to have my teeth extracted from my mouth.  There is a pretty funny video on my facebook (click here to see!) if you haven't seen it of my 'after-video'.  Everyone has one and of-course I had to also.  So then we came home and my beautiful bestie, Michelle, came over and hung with me all day.  Through my cloud 9 phase to my fall on the sleep on the chair phase.  Whew.  I must say it will not even compare to having my gallbladder taken out, although it is NOT a walk in the park by any means.  My first sip of water I tried to take...not a bit of it got in my mouth, but landed all on my shirt.  And for everyone who knows I always tell TMI..it was nice and pinky/red cuz of the blood in my mouth.  So my bright yellow shirt now has a huge darker spot all on it.  Memories y'all.  So for now I am just chillin' at my house, watching ZILLIONS of movies, with the beautiful souls willing to sit with me.  Also-I must say I can see how people become addicted to Loritab-y'all this stuff is GREAT! ;)

My after pic I took myself.  Not too bad considering I'd been awake 5 minutes!

Reminiscing via summers.

Let's back up to 2 summers ago: God called me to Kamp Kanakuk where I would have the hardest summer of my life but learn lessons I would have not learned anywhere else, and the best dad in the world came to Branson, MO just to bring me my car, with tickets to fly back for him and K; no intentions of me coming back for emergency surgery.  SURPRISE.

So 2 summers ago I had surgery totally ordained by the Lord's timing for sure.

Last summer:  God called me to Ottawa at C!C and showed me what transparency, and freedom looked like in Him, got to make best friends in CANADA, work at what Christ calls the church to be, and see a Christ-centered household with 3 crazy wonderful kids; it was totally planned every moment for that.  There isn't a day where I don't think about my experiences up there.

This summer:  God called me to Gulfport, MS to take a few classes, maybe get a job, and just be at home with the fam.  However, in a few days I will have random surgery again-getting my wisdom teeth out.  Why so random?  Because I just figured out less than a month ago I have them (thank you PAIN!), and now I will get them out since I can't chew on half of my mouth.  What a summer.  It's only been a week down here.

I can only imagine the blog post you will all experience after my experience round 3 thus far of life of anesthesia...if I could express how much I HATE that stuff-I could make a whole blog about it, but I will spare it.  Just know I am not nervous or anything, I am just ready to get it over with, mostly the anesthesia part.  Blah.  Tis' my life.