lack of blogging?

I said I would blog the last 2 days of my Ottawa adventures, and as you see-they aren't there.  Probably won't ever be there.  Just the way I roll-look on facebook under tagged pictures if you are interested.
Anyways......
I haven't blogged since I got back from that awful day of flying from the marvelous place of Ottawa.  I haven't had a thing to say; I wish I did.  My lack of blogging really comes from a lack of words; lack of experience; lack of learning from the Lord.  I have learned time and time again that I do better all around at school; schedules, friends, job, $$.  The list continues.  Without a scheduled time to do bible study at 7 am-quite frankly I just don't do it.  Not that I haven't had the time-I am almost done with season 2 of Everybody Loves Raymond.  Oh do I have the time... I have enough time to read through the New Testament probably.  Instead- I have put my relationship with the Lord at the back burner; better yet completely off the map.  And I am going to Passion 2013 in TWO days!! I am SO pumped because I know after that I will be back at school and I will grow oh so much more with the Lord; jump-started with Passion 2013 with one of my best friends, MC.  Not Mississippi College, but Mary Catherine.  Our story of how we met is hilarious, but of how we became best friends is one of a kind for sure!  Anyways, I can hardly believe I am going to go encounter this incredibly holy God, that I haven't given the time of day for in almost a month.  I am terrified of what I am going to be confronted with from Him, but excited because I know the after-effects of growth.  Though the actual process isn't a walk in the park, I would never take back one of those walks for a moment.  So here is my blog before I go to Passion.  Can't wait to blog next-I can only imagine what I will write what He will be teaching me with 60,000 other university-aged students.

I couldn't resist.  Here is me and some snow on the side of the road.

The most thrilling part of being home.  Taking these boys out for a day of fun!

This one makes 'the books'

Well-I am currently in DC. And I have oh so many things I could say and I shall simply start with what has happened today, and what the Lord has taught me through it all.
So J took me to the airport-and I got up a little after 4am-and rode to the airport and got there and figured out everything with my bag, and got through security fine.  We were waiting to board the plane, when suddenly we got over the intercom that our plane was stuck in snow and would come when it was out.  So it comes, we board, and it was 40 minutes behind-that was fine at the moment.  So we get on and apparently some bar was frozen or something, meaning we had to wait 50 minutes or so to take-off.  Thus meaning I was going to miss my next flight.  So-I did and I went to the front and they sent me around until I found Air Canada.  The guy at the counter told me they would send me to Toronto, then Chicago, and THREE days later I'd get home.  I hysterically started crying, and slight hyper-ventilating because-that just sounded like hell on Earth basically.  So I call dad, ready to get on a train or something.  So I go back up there and just keep asking, and they found a flight to get home the NEXT night.  I mean-it was better-but meant I'd stay in DC by my self.  Note:  I am still crying my eyes out-so it was so awkward.  Ugh.  Anyways-dad said there was no trains, or buses, or anything, and that was my option.  So I took it and went to the next booth.  So I get there and apparently the other guy didn't actually reserve my ticket.  So I was useless.  And at that moment they told me that my luggage was in Chicago....great timing.  So I wait about an hour as they type and research for me and found a flight to Jackson, MS later TONIGHT.  I was ecstatic and oh so thrilled I'd get home for Christmas!  The thought that I might not make it back home until Christmas was daunting.  It was SUCH a long, draining process that I am incredibly tired that I can barely function.  However-I know that my friends across the continent were praying for me to get home, and I have decided that the Lord provided this moment, and I could not be more thankful.  So I got the ticket and was off on the metro to go to the mall to explore it for a while; it was AWESOME.  4 story mall=amazing.
I have really seen how 'not' grown-up I truly am.  That the second anything goes wrong I can't make these big decisions, but I call for help.  Now I am totally OK with calling my dad in tears asking for guidance.  But I tend to forget that I am capable of getting to that place.  I feel that this is a foreshadowing of Passion also.  That I am going to enter this utterly broken state of-I don't know yet-that I have to cry out to my Heavenly Father for help-and to take heed.  I can hardly wait to see what I will learn there.  For now-I will work on making it back home.
I will blog the rest of my Canada trip when I am more sane, and not sitting in the same airport since 10am.

And the week continues..

Well-Tuesday night was a party night for sure in the snow filled city of Ottawa.  I went out with Tori, Emily, and Katie for dinner and (wait for it.....) drinks!  I am legal here in Ottawa, so after talking it over with my Ottawa crew-I decided that this was the place I wanted to experience my first alcoholic beverage-though I told myself I was going to wait til 21! So-we set off to a local pub right next to Em's house and the bar tender/waiter was super helpful.  Em and Katie told her it was my first time and so she gave me a while to decide and I opted for a Shirley Temple for my first choice beverage.  It tasted super delicious so I wanted another-so I got a rum and coke (with a lime slice).  I also tasted Em's choice of beers-I liked hobgoblin (Canadian draft).  It was pretty cool to get to hang out with some girls from my !group-and share life over something that in many peoples minds is taboo for Southern Baptists, apparently.  (I almost didn't write that-but hey-this is my blog so whatever.)  So we finished our drinks and then went for the 1/2 hour trek home for me.  They were so kind as to walk me all the way to Jason and Carrie's!  It was about 1 am-so I was really glad!

momentous occasion for sure!

Wednesday I went to lunch at Carleton U with Em and Katie while they studied away for finals, and then the whole !group went to The Works for dinner!  I like to get something different every time-and also taste as many people's burgers as possible ;).  Then Andrew, Dav. Jason, Tori, and I went to see The Hobbit.  However, I fell asleep half way in and woke up at the last 3 minutes.  So-I enjoyed my nap!

If Jesus wasn't there-would I go?

Well-as I type this I am in some warm clothing, next to a Christmas tree, with snow on the ground in my vantage point.  Just watching the kiddos go up for nap time after a lazy Monday morning/afternoon since Caleb is sick.  Yesterday was the reuniting's I have been so long waiting for.  Getting to see all my Ottawa friends-it feels like I never left-precisely how I yearned for it to feel.  To not feel like a newcomer.  I know my way briefly around.  They can't fool me that Chinatown is 5 minutes away-I know it's more than that! (Dav!)  I am referred to as 'one of the interns from the summer' and I wouldn't want it any other way.

So with that-J proposed a question that John Piper's ultimately at C!C Sunday.  If heaven had everything you wanted:  all the food, pleasures, people, places-everything your heart desires.  But didn't have Jesus; would you still want to go?  That is probably the most brain racking question that I has happened since-the last time I was in Canada!  I can't stop thinking about it because I honestly can't answer it.  I would love to say NO-Jesus is why we go!  However I constantly struggle with Him because I am such a physical, visual person-that I often forget that Jesus is with me every step of my day.  That-He is how I am here-in Ottawa-or in America-at this phase of life.

I got to watch the kiddos Monday night and it was one of the best babysitting experience with 2 kids I could ever ask for.  Caleb was oh so helpful when Lillie would have a slight meltdown about mommy being gone.  Such a great big brother.  Tuesday I got to play the piano at the chapel at St. Pauls-where I played it practically everyday.

And...the snow.  Yes-I have seen RIDICULOUS sized snow flakes being up here and been in the coldest weather I have ever experienced thus far in life.  It's been fun to gaze at (while being warm inside!)

you know-just the front of my house-No big deal.

My first glancing's of Ottawa-round 2.

Well, I made it to Canada after the long journey of finals.  I made my first C....rather 2 C's in a music class and after spending too much time agonizing and crying a bit over it-I have accepted it.  Last year as a music major I associated grades with success and I did very well.  And Jesus knew that I needed to do well to verify to me His plan of major.  However this year I don't think it will go that way-and I need to be ok with that.  That-it's ok to try, try, and try, and to not get what you want out of it.
The airport scene:
I get off the airport and I run through customs as fast as I possibly can-while having to stop and talk to the people along the way.  I get out and I see Carrie and Lillie and I pick my pace up and Lillie runs, and it was pretty much a movie scene from my perspective.  We hugged it out, and I hugged Carrie, and then I saw Caleb do his little 'hey meg' with the hand wave, and hugged J, and then Hannah.  She is walking-running.  And doesn't remember me.  It is EXACTLY how I pictured it going in my dream.  Apparently when J and Carrie told Lillie I was coming back- she replied, "Meg coming home!?"  Precious-right?
Carrie's perspective:  Lillie is potty training.  Lillie peed in her pants in the airport-as in-her boots are sopping and so obviously her clothes are.  She is on her way to the bathroom when she sees me and obviously turns around everything in her mind for that moment.  As I am squeezing Lillie-she advises me to not squeeze as hard.  I just laughed and set her down ASAP!
I did basically nothing for most of Saturday-it was amazing. Saturday night I went to a party at Jenn Kelly's house and it was fun.  It was a classy party-however we all know how 'classy' I am.  I told a classically trained pianist 'what up' and got told my life should be written in a book.  Sounds about like the kind of things I would get myself in to.
For now-I will probably blog every other day simply because I want to remember every moment of my time back here again.  I can't wait to see snow.  I think I will be more excited than the kiddos.

lkvoibnbibgnipvopnfvnkbkorgiojbfmklgojif

That describes my brain.
Overwhelmed that I can count the HOURS until I will be with my Canadian family and friends.
Overwhelmed that I am half way done with my college career.
Here is my life with picture stories.

I love my school.  Repeated pray and studying.  It was on the side that goes to Aven.  Props to whomever did that one.

Best.  Christmas.  Present.  Ever.  Thanks Sarah Arnold for the awesome permanent  countdown!! 

MC's mom=awesome.  Christmas happies.

MATCHY!  Maleesa, Christa, and I.  Music major bud's for life.

3 weeks=60,000 college kids gathered for His name and renown.

Friend group dirty santa=best idea ever.

My failed attempt at packing.

I am officially in-charge of the KT card!

I can hardly wait to add a picture.

She loves me.

I am Lord willing half way done with my college career (as long as I pass Theory 3).  That is crazy.  Next time I blog it will be probably in the airport of D.C.  See y'all there in 2 days!

This is what I did instead of studying..

Well.  One week from now I will be DONE with finals and packing up to travel to the beautiful land of Canada.  Where I am allowed to use 'eh' and not be looked at (it's December and it's STILL natural.. #youknowyouarepartCanadianwhen)
Let's back it up a little though.  I mean it's been a little while.  What have I done?  Absolutely nothing too astounding.  I have not done a dang thing that has been overwhelmingly awesome.  And I am ok with that.  It makes me remember being in Canada.  Nothing super spectacular happened most days. It was simply living life-exactly how my heart wanted it to be.  I really learned this summer-but didn't realize until now-that it is ok to go to be sleeping by 11 if you can (and I DO when given the opportunity!)  I used to seek for things to do if I didn't have plans.  Now I let the plans come to me, or I chill in my room and am genuinely completely content with this lifestyle.  I think this is what it is like to be out of college-and I can hardly wait for it!

I have now had 2 dreams about Canada.  The first one was about my reuniting with my family up there and I think I blogged about it.  I had another last night about my reuniting-just like the first one.  However for some reason I hadn't brought the coffee I intend on buying and bringing up there and I know how much J likes coffee.  So I remember being really sad about forgetting it; I am now slightly paranoid haha.  But if I subconsciously am ready to go back-you can imagine how it is when I am awake.  I remember 6 months ago being SO anxious about journeying to the great north because I was so scared that I wouldn't be accepted, or that my family wouldn't be what I wanted them to be or wouldn't like me.  Now I am just STRAIGHT UP pumped to see all my Canadian friends, and my oh so wonderful family-whom is not what I could have ever prepared for-but in the best way ever!  I am simply anxious about this stupid cold weather up there.  I saw that it will get to single digits........and with wind chill-in the negatives.  *throws up*.  My friend, Em told me that it's so cold that snot freezes in your nose-I will remember to bring ample scarves.  So yes-8 days.  First thing is first.  To get past finals.  I will blog about how they all went for sure. If I live to see that far anyways ;) #butreally

So.  Legit.  Just saying.

I went to this bible study/prayer thingy and it was basically God's provision in a group.  They have been praying for a young woman; I have yearned for a group of older (not old-just not 20's) women to do life with weekly and share/pray.  Well I went and it's so great!  I think some of them are still trying to look past what I physically look like.  This is the first time I have personally met and will meet with people who didn't know me before I got my eyebrow pierced.  So they only see this crazy hipster looking college girl with 2 facial piercings; what a hethan right?! ;)  Ok but really-I can't wait to see how God is going to use my ridiculous hipster college phase of life for Him.  I genuinely do want to be used by Him, and desire for every ounce of my being to be His-including this piercing.  So-I can't wait to just chill here and watch God use me in ways that I don't even know about.  Let's do this.

Oh yea- I dyed my hair with Kendall and later Becca.  I was ready for it.  It had been almost a year!! That is the longest ever-since I started dying it.  So.  Here is the picture form of the experience.

before applying hair dye

fail.  I don't want to be a ginger.

anddd success!! Brown with slightly red.

So....yea.  That's my life.  Not too much.  Just chillin' here in America-at MC. Gotta love it!

November 26th, 2012-Yahweh

I am so overcome by life I don't even have an appropriate title for it.
Either way I am home (at school) from thanksgiving break.  It was one of the best breaks I could ask for.  It was a momentous break for a plethora of reasons.  For one-it was the break where I realized I needed to have the 'missions' talk with my parents because I keep getting asked about post-college plans since my university time is now almost 1/2 way done-after that it is downhill for time left at MC-meaning apparently I need to know what's going on (LIES!).  Anyways I mean Jesus and I know what I am doing after school-going overseas.  However I needed to have this conversation with the parental's.  Now-please imagine going up to your parents and basically saying, 'Father, the child you will have spent the past almost 23 years helping achieve success, is going to by American dream standards-throw it all away for the sake of Christ, and she couldn't be more excited and anxious and overcome to.  Now-I know you don't understand any of that-so stop trying to and just go with the flow.'  Talk about heart wrenching.  Having to talk about life outside of school-about buying a one-way ticket, all the things that comes with living overseas for more than a year or two.  Lord willing I plan for it to be my life, and that is when it starts to affect more than just myself-and I am acutely aware of this fact.  Dad was asking lots of questions that a worried parent should ask-and I'm glad he asked them because it make me more and more sure of my 'calling'.
However the part that is fuzzy is how I am getting there.  There are so many options and organizations out there that are wonderful and Christ-centered.  Now to take this time to just chill and find the right fit for myself.  But the thing is-is I want to know now who/what I am going through.  Will I be teaching?  Will it be cold (for me-this is a HUGE question!)  But alas-God has not yet revealed any of this to me yet.  He is gently telling me, "Only in My timing My precious child." And I am scoffingly saying, "fine."  But NO-it needs to be like an obedient child saying, "Yes, Sir."  That shall come with time I guess.

I got to see my whole family which has been a while, and it was awesome to just have quality hang time and just relive old times, and go to lunch with some friends that I have gone to church with since high school.

My niece, Zoe, and my 2 nephew's- Jake (hands on knees) and Jonathan.

The crew of us- Cody, Andrew, Michelle, Amanda, Michael, and I.

Now I am back and I have 18 days until Canada and 36 until Passion!! I am SO excited for my Christmas break it's not even funny.  I am really struggling with staying here at MC when I know I am going to have a mind-blowing/God-seeing/convicting/friend-restoring Christmas break that I know my heart so needs.  I need to see God in a new light.  I need to have that real community back in Canada for a week.  I need to experience God in a small place, then in a GINORMOUS place where God will be moving the same way He is in Canada, then He will in Atlanta in the hearts of 60,000 university students.

Experiencing the same God at this local Farmer's market

Same God I experienced at the little train station-I'll experience in this setting.

I am going to do a new year's resolution that I have needed to do-but been fearful of-but after watching some friends do it I decided to jump on the band wagon after everyone is done with it. I am going to go on a 'boy fast'.  For one year-to not even ponder the fact of having a boy friend.  To strive to look at guys and not think, "Oh I wonder if he is Mr. It!"  My heart needs to rest in the knowledge that GOD is my romancer.  That I can glorify the Lord just as well without a boy beside me.  That He is genuinely enough.  I need a whole year to grasp this concept and I can hardly wait to see the journey God has for me with it all.

God is faithful; all the time.

Well I felt like it had been forever since I blogged but alas-it was like a week-whatever.
God has really been emphasizing how faithful He really is to do ALL for good.  First, one of my good friends and I decided to be accountability partners and not to be vague-but the way it happened was literally a God send and it could not have gone any other path.  Two, after going to TX it really hit me that I really needed a small group of people to do life with-but not university students.  Well, some great friends at home that participate in BSF in Mobile.  They told me there is a pre-BSF in Jackson where some ladies get together for an hour and have a devotional and pray that this kind of study will happen.  So I have been contacting the lady and I go Dec. 4, and come to find out they have been praying for a young woman to join them.  So the Lord put the connection together for us at the perfect time so that we would yearn for each other equally, and humbly.  I have truly been blown away by the fact by how intricately the Lord will work ALL things out for His children. (Romans 8:28)
I have also been doing the whole '30 days of thankfulness' and it has really helped me see how thankful I am for literally everything in this life.  Examples:  friends, family, coffee, talents, TV.  I often don't take the time to  tell God thank you for my flavored coffee beans or for How I Met Your Mother.

Another thing I came to realize.  At the start of the semester I had made a statement that I wasn't going to make any effort for new friends, and that I didn't need anymore.  Well let me be the first to say that God HAD to have be laughing when I claimed that.  I have made a new best friend, and become close to several new people this year.  I would have NEVER seen myself with these people, but the Lord knew that we needed each other and put us all together at such a time as this!

Now I am going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow morning and I am incredibly excited to get to see some people I have not seen since May, then my family I saw fall break, but to get to share Thanksgiving together with them ALL shall be interesting. :)

Dreams beginning to meet reality

Holaaaaa blog world.
Well it has been a whirlwind of a week-all before Thanksgiving break.  Let's get right to it.
So in case you have never gotten the memo-I love Jesus+I love East Asia=I want to go to East Asia for Him when I am done at MC (nothing new).  I know the end result; journeyman.  I just am trying to figure out the journey to journeyman (so it sounded cool and wise in the moment OK!)  If you want the whole story and you are actually reading this blog and don't know-then message me-but 9 times out of 10 you already know my over-analyzing story over it all with my major andddd I don't feel like explaining it over this medium.

It is weird thinking about life outside this bubble of Clinton, MS-getting to embrace the world at its' finest.  And to be honest I would ignore this ridiculous...nudge..i don't like the word call (I think it frightens me a little still)..so I don't know what to call it..anyways this *insert word here* for East Asia.  However- I can't ignore the fact that I am so chill with living there while most people aren't (note:  nothing against that-I am glad people are in America-without I wouldn't be here) however we all have a 'feeling' for places to live- and for some reason God decided to place this 'feeling' to me for overseas.  I can't ignore the thousands of people that are being eternally separated from Christ-being thrown into Hell because they don't know Jesus.  I can't ignore the fact that I would do anything to go overseas any moment of life.  Gosh I can't imagine my life without Him; I want everyone to know what He can do for them.  I mean-y'all I deserve Hell; you deserve Hell too.  However THANKS BE TO GOD THROUGH CHRIST I get to be seen as pure...PURE.. as in..flawless.  OK I could continue my rant because it simply astounds me on a daily basis; but I shall stop at that and safely say; East Asian people need Him and I am going to be God's vessel for it!

First meal in E.A.  Glad that moment is eternally over!

I just didn't expect to have this conversation with my family right now.  The conversation where it goes something like having reality hit them that one day they will bring me to an airport with a one way ticket.  That it will be the last hug for a long time.  It literally saddens my heart every time I think of it in that matter.  However every time I am with my Chinese convo partner or international students in general; I feel so 'in' and could see my lifestyle being that, and realizing we won't socialize in heaven; that drives my emotions more-so.

First ticket to Asia; ready for another one!

In one month from this moment I will be in my Canadian home.  I can hardly believe I get to type this.  That my dream to go back is actually occurring and that second chances do happen.  I think about having my dance parties with the fam; getting to worship and have genuine life with the people that poured into me knowing I would leave in 2 months expecting to never have contact with me again (thank you God for letting that one be false!)  Safe to say; my countdown is penetrating my every ion of being.

Summertime BeaverTail; in Winter I plan to eat one while ICE SKATING!

Reuniting's rock-physically and spiritually.

This weekend I took a crazy road trip to Austin, TX-it was me, June (my car), and my wonderful iPod with the open road!  The 8 hour drive was wonderful enough-getting to scream a plethora of songs varying from T-Swift, WICKED, Passion, DCB, and many random others.  To get to just-BE for 8 whole hours by my self with the Lord to think and pray.  It was the longest car trip I have driven thus far in my 20 years of life and I decided I LOVED it.  But that wasn't even the point of the weekend!....(continue down)

The MS river-between Vicksburg, and Louisiana!

It was SO beautiful on the open TX roads with the trees changing before my eyes.

SO.  I went to see some people I met in East Asia-who are at a stage of life that ultimately in 10 years I genuinely see myself being at.  It was a first for me to get to know people that that are precisely where I want to be so I soaked up every single minute of talking, listening, and asking questions.  I loved every moment and it was genuinely worth every penny of gas, and moment spent in June.

I learned quite a bit.
1- I was reminded of how much I love serving families and desire to on a weekly basis here at school and to be a part of a forming one.  I hope to be able to pro-actively do something about it soon.
2-I also was reminded of why to go...why you ask?  Well-ask yourself why NOT?  Don't ask why-but why not?  The reasons suddenly get smaller as you ponder the vast amounts of people who need Jesus and how He indeed calls us all to GO.  Not permanently (though some of us are and I can hardly wait)-but indeed to at some point.  I love being around people who are ultra-sensitive to the spirit because I pray that I get to be 'that family' one day that is just on the dot of where the Lord wants.
3-I also am beginning to see that my family in Canada was not some over-extreme perfection of parenting-but that in fact their style might be 'normal' for the household devoted to the Lord.  I can't wait to see what the Lord has planned for my life with this persona of 'parenting' playing out in my head.

Then Sunday I went to church and heard SUCH a wonderful message from Michael and it was about Ezekiel 37-the Valley of the Dry Bones.  Now I am not saying I am in a valley or anything-I love where I am in life and soak up every moment.  I am saying however that my heart is in a valley.  That it forgets everything I learned this summer and yearns to go back to some old ways of life.  And my flesh says yes, but my spirit says no; thus creating utter inner turmoil.  I was praying about it until I looked at the mirror and saw, "RUN LIKE HELL!" written on it and realized that there is more to do than pray.  Jesus-I am running from my old ways of life and sprinting into Your arms, and into the presence of my dear friends who will keep me accountable in life and will pray with me.  I thank You for them endlessly.

I'm doing good with pictures with my stories here!

It's been a while blog world.  So here is my life the past 2 weeks!  

We had Shawreth Informal and it was blissfully perfect.  Kirk drove me and another dance informal couple.  He opened the car door, he pulled out my chair, we had fun dancing, we took pictures, we talked; it was awesome.  This whole 'date'  thing is super new to my life so it was a fun new experience!

KT sisters at Shawreth Informal

December 14 is a BIG day for us both!! :) 

My poor fish, Leviathan  might be on the tail end of life here :(  He has some weird disease that is in his chest and could die in a week, or two months.  That fish is reaching the 3rd year of college and I really wanted him to be with me for all of my MC year's-but I guess there will be a Leviathan part 2 eventually.

Poor Leviathan with his chest thing!s 

So I pondered not sharing but it's too....well i have a weird sense of humor..but it's hilarious.  I decided the world is against me going to Texas Thursday-  However I WILL be victorious Lord willing and I mean that one a whole lot literally now!

I spent 3 hours in the health clinic Monday making sure I didn't have pnuemonia-they thought I did..but it's not..after a chest x-ray and taking blood from my LEFT arm (dominant-that is important).  It's like some awkward in-between.  But my mindset is that I am getting better fast and I must say that it is kind-of working!

So Monday night we had KT big sis little sis reveal (more on that later).  We went to a gymnastic place.  First I slice my finger open with a can opener.  THEN..this is the fun part.  I tore a muscle in my LEFT arm or something.  Disabling some motions of my arm.  I tried a back-hand spring-well I succeeded at 2 and then apparently the 3rd one is NOT the charm.  So Tuesday I went BACK to the healthplex (I said I was becoming a regular) and they said it wasn't broken-but they are pretty sure it isn't fractured-but that I tore a tendon or muscle or something like that.  So I have a sling and ice and all to make it better soon.

Tuesday after going to the Healthplex and being high basically on drugs because I took sleep meds during the day-I got my eyebrow pierced.  Yes-I made a weird collegiate decision and decided to #YOLO! :)

me and my new piercing!

Thank you Lord for EACH of these beautiful girls in my family tree.

Now-Monday night was KT big sis-little sis reveal!  We welcomed 4 new beautiful grand-babies into our family and we had a BALL Monday night!  We went to a gymnastics place and had a GRAND time getting to know each other!  I love them oh so much.

Tuesday before going back to the Healthplex-my dear floor partner needed to vote-because I had voted during fall break.  So we went to vote and it was a momentous occasion that we needed a picture. (then we went and found out she had pink eye!!)

The people taking the picture thought it was sweet of how excited we were!

Heart Ramblings

I think my heart has a really hard time of letting go of people; of life experiences.  I love doing, and meeting, but ultimately I am a relationship person.  These 'short' mission trips are truly not for me.  Why?  Because I will go to any extent to simply get to see people I shared life with again.  My friend Liv that I went to East Asia with last Christmas and I are going to drive 9 hours to see some wonderful people of the Lord we met over in those parts.  I am simply dying to see their faces, give them a huge hug (you know certain people give awesome hugs-ok this lady is one of those!), and see their beautiful children.  Also in less than 2 months I will get on a plane to see some other people I shared almost 3 times as much life with this summer.  I notice most people don't really do things this crazy and it really makes me question myself; but then I just always am ok with it, get in the car, buy the ticket, and just go with it!  I am SO pumped for this trip to TX with Olivia my CIC room mate and dear friend, and can't wait to see what comes of it (maybe a spur of the moment trip across the ocean :D)

We don't take many pictures; but here is us in our room!

This week at KT meeting our entire tribe was for sure revolutionized.  I will spare details only because I feel it is crossing a line from blog world conversation, to face conversation.  (Rant:  as much as I like blogging I still desire face conversations-this is one of those)  So anyways this alumni came to our meeting to do our devotional, and I can safely say NO ONE in that room was prepared for what she was going to share with us.  It was simply astonishing how one girls sins, can turn into such God-given words of amazing.  I feel much closer to my sisters and I didn't even say anything!  Our new phrase is #runlikehell and it's basically the best thing to say at a time like this.  It's also cool because I just love my friends at MC.  I don't really have a 'circle' of friends, but rather a friend or two from multiple circles to create the best friends I could ever ask for.

Ok one more rambling.  I am ready to get out of college and just GO.  I have so many crazy plans of what I want to do after school it's genuinely hard for me to have my whole heart here in Clinton all the time.  Especially since I don't know when my next mission trip is.  Thanks Music Edu. for having so many dang classes I have to take not one but TWO full summer's of classes.  I know that Clinton and Jackson needs Jesus just as much as Africa or East Asia, but I am perfectly content with going to spend a year in Africa or some crazy country and being ecstatic for the experience.  Instead I am going to go to Passion and give money for other people to go.  Is it selfish of me to yearn to be the one going?  Oh well-it's true.

So overall life is great.  I am ready for the adrenaline rush moments that are coming up!

I can't wait list for Ottawa!

*WARNING THIS IS A BLOG POST OF ME RANTING ABOUT HOW EXCITED I AM TO GO TO OTTAWA IN 55 DAYS AND A LIST OF EVERYTHING I CAN'T WAIT TO DO!*

Summer Ottawa; I can't wait to have a reoccurring pictures of  Winter Ottawa!

I bought my plane ticket to go to Ottawa for a week this Christmas!!  I can hardly believe in less than 2 months I will get back on a place and go back to where I spent the best 2 months of my life.  I think I am more excited to go this time because I know what to expect.  I know how amazing everyone is; I am not nervous to be accepted or nervous of whether or not the family I will live with will like me.  I already know that the people are simply like none other and my family is spectacular.  I can hardly wait to see Lillie, Caleb, and Hannah again; to speak to Lillie and hear her words, see Caleb go to school and read him wonderful children's books, and see Hannah run around the house.  So many new things in their life that it is stunning.  I can't wait to see Carrie and J.  I lived with them; meaning I saw all aspects of life in a 2 month span which was thrilling.  I can't wait to ride the OC transpo (ok maybe that part isn't exactly rainbows and unicorns) but to get to go see my friends up there; to ride it to go to !group.  I can't wait to say 'eh?' and my o's like a northerner.  I genuinely still think 'eh' on a daily basis and sometimes my o's come out.  I can't wait to have Timmy's!!

Timmys! 

 I oddly enough can't wait to not have my phone for 8 days.  To not have it as a distraction while socializing with friends.  It's weird because while I was there all I could talk about were my best friends, major, KT, and job and how awesome they all are.  Now being back in it all, all I can think about is how amazing my !groups were, and how I loved the kids and families up at C!C.  So I can't wait to go back and get to re-experience my life in Ottawa that I so loved for 2 months.  I can't wait to have a crazy dance party with my family.  I can't wait to go back to !group for a week and hear J preach again.

The fact we get to have this picture become reality is shocking!

I can't wait to do so many things everyone told me is really fun to do in the winter but no one thought I would ever get the opportunity to; I do now! My favorite I have heard is to get to ICE SKATE ON THE CANAL!  As in-a real body of water.  That it being so cold it's hard enough to have a business of ice skating; simply ridiculous to my southern roots.  To get to have beavertail or hot chocolate while chilling (literally haha) on the canal. I also can't wait to get to have awesome home cookin' from mama's up there who KNOW their kitchen.  As weird as it is I can't wait to help Carrie around the house.  I simply loved getting to live in a going household and being a part of it all.  I can't wait to experience true cold weather.  Though I have being in East Asia last Christmas; I know Ottawa will be vastly different since it's on the same continent and there will be snow!   I can't wait to sleep in a house with 3 kids and wake up to snow and just throw on some clothes and play outside and throw them around.  With that; I can't wait to see 3 kids under 5 in INTENSE snow clothes (I'm laughing thinking about ALL of the C!C kids in their coats probably bigger than mine!

You are the God of this city...in a summer sunset and a winter wonderland.

I had a dream that I was back up there with my C!C friends and family and we were ice skating on the canal and it was just pure bliss.  I can't wait to see that dream become reality.

I feel an ice skating party coming on! (the picture on my computer messed up)

OK I think I said 'I can't wait...' about 56464653 times-but hey-I warned you :)

Vision of God

So this is a short blog because you NEED to listen to this song.  I went out with one of my new-found best friends for sure.  I NEVER expected to be so close to this wonderful girl.  However the Lord had other plans-it seems to always go this way in my life.  I intensely judged her freshman year off of looks -and I genuinely apologize Kendall for it!!  You are a wonderful friend and sister in Christ I am incredibly thankful for :)  She reminds me of my friends at C!C-so real, and genuine; it's refreshing.  So we went to chic-fil-a for a friend date-I love those as we know.  And we were talking and she was telling me a way she has started viewing God.  And it is revolutionizing my view and persona of God.  I have never thought of God being my romancer; that I am genuinely full without a guy.  This is a lie I know and have always been taught; but am ready-ok He is leading (dragging really) me to grasp this truth in my heart.  Now-this is not an overnight thing but I am excited to start to ponder Him in this way.  It is staring tonight and this song is pretty much perfect for it all.

overwhelmed with being overflowed

My.  Life.  Is.  Awesome.
I went home-Yes-as in Gulfport.  I was home for 3 wonderful days.  Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday until lunch time.  I got to celebrate my Grandmother's 90th birthday with some of my family and it was awesome to have 3 generations of people in the same room.  We don't know how many more times it will happen, so I am so thankful to have been so close to my grandmother for as long as I will have the opportunity.  Then of course the fact that she will get to go join the choir in heaven worshiping the Lord is simply stunning.  She has severe dementia, so she doesn't know anyone, or pretty much anything.  It's sad, but she is happy and it makes it much easier to watch.
I got to go to my home church-BVBC and see my church family that has helped me become in Christ who I am today.  To get to tell them of what the Lord did this summer through me and in me was awesome.
Monday I got to see lots of people I haven't seen since May and it was beautiful reuniting's. 
Tuesday I did absentee voting and voted for Mitt Romney! WHOOP! :)

Yesterday I was walking to strings class with my new found friend, Kirk.  Here is how it happened from real life and then in **'s is what was going on in my head.
Kirk:  Have you been invited to Shawreth informal?
Me:  Nope!  *OHMYGOSH I am about to be asked to my first boy event at MC!*
Kirk:  Oh-well would you like to go with me to informal?
Me:  Yes!  Just let me know the dates please!  *AHHHHHHH first boy event!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Ok self.  don't freak him out-keep it cool.  AHHHH!  NO-keep it cool.*
No.  Lie.  It was hilariously wonderful.
I am super excited to go with such a great guy of the Lord.  He tells me random things he is learning or that he really appreciates about creation; it makes my heart happy to know guys like that genuinely exist.
Kirk is a music education major-percussion.  Slightly hippie.  Quiet but not too quiet.  Yup-cool dude.

Also yesterday my Canadian family e-mailed me.  I e-mailed them saying how much I miss them and how cool it would be if I could come up there for Christmas break for a week.  They replied saying how they would love for me to and what not.  So-I am REALLY hoping it will all work out.  It will be expensive; so no more eating out or pretty much doing things that cost $!  But-that week will be so worth it! I can hardly believe I have the opportunity to see my C!C family again.  They have impacted my life so dramatically that I just want to cry from happiness. I probably will when I see my family I lived with! :) 63 days and counting!

Yesterday was pretty much the best day of the whole semester for sure.  I just had so many positive emotions I was just incredibly overwhelmed with life itself.  I called Michelle and she was just ranting how cool it is of how my cup is overflowing at the perfect time.  We perform the musical this weekend and next weekend 6 times so I am going to be so tired.  However I have so many great things happening it doesn't even matter.  And the musical within itself is simply amazing.  However life is so great I kind-of forgot that we open tonight!  I know I will blog more about the musical when my mind is not as freaking out over the two awesome things that occurred yesterday!

I'm not that girl.

God's doing some smacking me in the face this past-I don't know how long.  As you have read-I am a double music education major-trumpet and voice.  I am an RA, in 9 things to learn music for, one being the musical=wonderfully life consuming, but I had to drop KT which breaks my heart!  Safe to say-this is physically no way possible to genuinely do all these things 100%-happily.  I know the Lord created each one of us differently and I have different life desires than other people.  My desire is not ONLY music.  That is a major part, but there IS life outside of Aven -this I have not really seen much of this year and to be honest I can't stand it.  I miss my hall, I miss KT, and I miss having FUN with what I do.  I attempted to tell myself, "Self-you WILL like double majoring"-but that faded quickly as the semester picked up.  So then my stupid pride got in the way of me telling anyone because most everyone didn't think I could do it.  So I wanted to be THAT kid (so selfish) that DID the impossible.  I am here to tell you; I am NOT that girl.

 I am dropping trumpet music education and I wish I could say I have some crazy peace about it-but I don't.  What I do know is that when you don't enjoy practicing-or dread going to certain rehearsals-that is a problem.  What I do know is that I love putting effort into voice and piano and that is enough for me.
I can hardly believe that I went through so much trouble to get to this point to drop it within a few months.  But it was indeed worth the try, and answered my questions of if I could do it and still maintain my life-NO.
With that I am now going back active into KT and I could not be more happier!  I am getting to spend more time on my hall, and getting to have more 'dates' with people.

KT sisters with the new babies!

Something else I have been learning is what genuine beauty looks like.  As we all know-I dress exactly how I want, and don't ask if it looks 'cute'.  Monday I had my office hour and it's the one day a week for 1/2 a day I dress how other people tell me to; for an office.  Afterwards I put on a 'normal' outfit, and one of my friends, Kendall, saw me in the caf and told me that though I was pretty and all in my dress, that I was much more beautiful in my outfit then-consisting of athletic pants, a shirt, scarf, headband, and some sandals.  I don't know why -but it started an overflow in my heart that beauty for each person looks different.  I genuinely feel much more 'me' and beautiful in my leggings, nike shorts, tie-die shirt, crazy shoes and fun headband, than I do in a dress and flats.  Some girls feel beautiful in a pretty dress and jewelry.  However-again the phrase comes back- I am not that girl.

my 'twins' Becca and Kendall 

As a side note a few weeks ago I got the pleasure of going to Memphis with my best friends to see my favorite band:  Shane and Shane.  Now their new CD holds a special place in my heart because I learned the whole thing in Ottawa-my favorite place.  The song, "Liberty" was my favorite dance song with my family, so every time I hear it I yearn to just grab Lillie, Hannah, or Caleb and spin with them.  When it says, "It is done!" It is SUCH a moment of pure abandon-it was awesome and yet bittersweet.

front and center-no zoom

Dear Theory 3,

Dear Theory 3,
First I'd like to address your DISTANT cousin classes-Theory 1 and 2.

Dear Theory 1 and 2,
I would like to take a moment to thank you for everything you have taught me pertaining to music.  I can now understand why music is written the way it is.  I appreciate all of your rules limiting me to what I can and can not do.  You make writing music for me much simpler-to where I can understand it.  Though it was a rough year I indeed made it through victorious.  I would love to come back to you and get to stay in the same key each movement and I loved how when you stated a key- you actually stayed true to your word.  Your cousin-Theory 3 is  a liar from birth.  So I appreciate all you did for me.
Love,
Meg

Dear Theory 3,
You are evil.  I can now understand total depravity at its deepest because of you.  Before music was ever created-Bach and Beethoven decided to screw up all of us music students by making us all attempt to decipher why they decided to change keys 575787473 times in a piece.  You take each rule theory 1 and 2 taught us and break them.  You deserve a summons form.  You don't stay true to your key signature-and in fact-you often do a direct modulation and change the sound all together.  Though that one is easiest to hear- I will never understand why you do it.  I despise relative modulations because they sound so close together and yet I still have to be able to hear the difference within a movement between D and A.  They are only 1 sharp away- why can't you just stay with 2 sharps OR just take the plunge and start with 3.  I surely hope to pass your class because you are wrecking every aspect of music I currently have.  However I can hardly await the day when I understand the concept of modulations; I question if it will ever arrive, but my friends who graduated from you tell me it's possible; we'll see about that.
NOT love,
 Meg

I am not waiting for him-He has already come.

Well it's been about a week since my last blog-and I remembered to blog :)

We have been in school a few weeks and I finally had my first trumpet lesson; my double major life has started and it's goodbye (no lie) to any type of social life outside of Aven and RA life.  I had to drop KT for a semester because I scheduled my practicing-30 hours MINIMUM a week-this is a full time job.  So worldly- I have a full time job as a music major alone, practicing, and then my RA job=3.  Fleshly I would not have made it this far because of how overwhelmed I get.  However THANKS BE TO GOD-that I am not in this alone.  I am a conqueror with Christ, and as long as He deems it (which I am 2339857% sure this is what He wants) I will be a double music major.  I did have to drop Collage Algebra because I physically had no time for it.  So I will be taking it in the summer, along with every other core class I have left.
Dropping KT for a semester was one of THE best decision I made.  Despite the tears shed on this decision; I know my sisters are always here for me.  They are oh so wonderful and still want me to come to what I can (basically anything in the day time)-and I plan to.  KT was such a pivotal point and where I met some of my life-long friends that I just want to watch it happen over and over again with the classes under me.  I can't wait to be active in the spring again, but at this season of life I know inactive is crucial; so thank you Lord for letting it be a simple process!

Ok I napped and then had 'becmeg' time with my blogger friend/sister/twin/music major bud/bestie-Becca.  We do Sabbath together and it's great to just sit and catch up on life over a cup of CUPS coffe-our weekly sabbath treat with a cookie and biscotti :) I love just genuine fellowship-I miss that most from C!C and having intentional time with Becca and other best friends fills that gap of craving.

I just read this blogpost and it totally wrecked the way I have been viewing purity.  I have been saving myself for my husband.  However that is not why I should save my self.  I am not 'waiting' on someone-He has come-Jesus Christ.  And if someone else should join me on the journey to better serve Him then cool-but if not I am HERE for Christ.  Now I just have to make the head-to-heart motion of that concept.  Read the blog-it's worth 5 minutes.
http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/

For such a time is this!

I sit here in my room at 1am simply throwing a huge pity party-at the most random time.  Two of my best friends and I had a 'date night' with each other-MC, Jen, and I.  We are a crazy trio.  We talked all about silly girl stuff (and crazy awkward things) and it was simply wonderful.   I am indeed incredibly BLESSED by them because it is SUCH a God moment of how we became so close.  I just know God chuckles everytime we reunite.  And I am also getting mega-into the musical.  Just getting to make beautiful music with so many passionate people; nothing describes the feeling.  I can hardly wait to perform it; musical theatre anyone?  So right now would be the 'prime time' for me to not yearn for Ottawa and just BE here; Satan really has a way of screwing things up.

WARNING: THIS IS MY HEARTS RANT OF MY FEELINGS OF BEING IN U.S. VS. OTTAWA
I was showing Jen my Canada scrapbooks and MC came and looked over them again.  And they commented on how pretty I looked in a lot of the pictures (note:  NOT point of this) however I did NOTHING different than I do here in the states.  It looked like the same ole' me.  However one of them made a comment that is sticking with me.  One of them told me that I just looked genuinely happy in every Ottawa picture I have.  And it clicked-again (Becca and I were chatting about this a little white ago).  That I am joyful here in America- I do genuinely LOVE school.  And we are commanded to be joyful always and I genuinely strive to do so.  However a lot of the time it's stressful and busy and just time consumed.  In Ottawa it was oh so different.  I was just purely happy with the point of life I was in.  Not desiring to be somewhere else-but I lived each moment to the fullest.  Now I am here in America simply reminiscing each moment-yearning to relive them.  Wishing I could relive my dance parties and 'I love you' moments with Lillie and the fam., or random talks and life lessons from Carrie, or my beautiful !group experiences, or 1-on-1 dates with people.  I can't go a day without genuinely having to pray my heart back to MC-because without Him my heart would still be at C!C.  Everytime someone says (it STILL happens-DAILY) anything about, "How was your summer?", or, "You went to Canada right?".  I can't help but let my heart momentarily venture back to those days as I talk about how wonderful of a summer experience I had.

However for some reason I have NEVER felt the calling or the nudge from Him to live there.  Which absolutely freaks me out.  How can I fall madly in love with some place, but not have the 'feeling' to live there; I simply don't.  So I konw I won't ever live there-so why does my heart yearn to be there so badly?  I wish I could figure it out.  It is SUCH a spiritual warfare life right now.  My flesh yearns for Ottawa, while my Spirit knows that MC is where I am placed for the time of life.  I have found SUCH freedom from sin in Christ this summer- that now I need to transfer that freedom into the fact that I am PLACED here at MC and find the freedom of not desiring to be in two places at once; for such a time is this!

Ok my random rant is over and I feel oh so better.  I didn't want to post this one to facebook-fearing comments about myself or how-to feel better about life.  Because quite frankly I know most of it-I just wanted to throw my thoughts out to those who would read!

random ramblings and Issac

Well as I sit here in Aven lobby contemplating that I am a junior in university and that I am attempting to be MC's first double emphasis music education major-I probably should not sit here-however with this weather I just feel like sitting here with my Cups coffee and chilling; so I am.

Classes have started and I absolutely love them as much as I did last year.  I am just incredibly thankful for the feeling of KNOWING in my heart, soul, mind, and body that double music edu. is the way for me. I also love this because my quiet times have started being consistant because I am such a scheduled person.  I love starting every day with quality time in prayer and soaking in His word.  It makes me wish I did it in Canada-however you live and learn right.

I am getting to know my kids, and know more of them everyday.  I am deeply in love with each one, and I just know the Lord is going to move in mighty ways this year; He already has.  We had our first rez life night and as an RA staff we each made a dessert and at the max planned for 80; we had 180 come.  However the Lord LITERALLY multiplied our food.  We had LEFTOVERS of numerous, delicous desserts and each girl got plenty; some got seconds.

I got to car worship with my KT twin-Becca and we saw the BEGINNING and END of a rainbow.  I had never seen a base before so that was simply stunning.  It was great to just scream, sing to God with my sister, with the wind in our faces.  I will forever love my Jesus car time.  It was also great to spend my Sabbath with her; I am doing the Sabbath forever for sure.  I am glad the Lord brought to my eyes how vital the Sabbath is for my week.

I have to address the fact that I still miss Canada-daily.  I don't go a day without thinking about my Canadian family, my C!C family, and my !group's.  I miss the intimate community, however I am striving to recreate it here; though it's tough becasue instead of it being created for me, I am the one creating.  However I know I will get to be with them ALL one day again. GLORY!

Now for the crazy weather we have been having.  There is a hurricane in the gulf of Mexico and is plummeting my house as I type.  And I am here in Clinton, MS; about to go play the piano.  It's my first hurricane not in Gulfport and it's wierd seeing the posts and not BE one posting.  My heart is with my family; praying that all goes well.  It has been 7 years TODAY since Katrina terrorized the Gulf Coast.  Restoration has indeed occured and it's beautiful.  I think it is amusing that Issac came on the EXACT day Katrina did.  I feel like the Lord is just laughing saying that there is indeed more to this day than Katrina; that the world does occur despite it.

I can hardly wait to see what the Lord has in store for me to learn this year because I have not a clue what to expect; that is what makes it all the more sweet.

Round 3-let's do this!

Well the freshman have moved into New Women's East.  Our quiet little dorm with semi-creepy eerieness at midnight is now a loud rambunctous sanctuary for a new chapter of life.  Went to bed past midnight and woke up at 630; makes me think of my 'normal' routine from now on.  We saw each beautiful girl that will live within our vacinity and helped them get semi-ok with where they are.  It is referred to as 'the super bowl for Rez Life'; I could not agree more.  After a few hours of sitting and explaining the inventory or doing the computer I was feeling oh so drained and just cried out to God for His joy to be my strength.  So a little bit after I decided to go walk my hall and individually meet my girls; it was just what I needed!  The Lord uses such practical things to accomplish His purposes sometimes.  We also had 'late night mission' where we just worship the Lord on the roof and have a few girls share their heart.  It was a wonderful time of worship with my new found sisters in Christ.  I am anxious to get to know their hearts and to share mine.

Chelsey, Em, and I at check-in!

Also we had our RA commissioning service the night before move-in. It was SUCH a beautiful picture of what Christ's body looks like. People were sitting, standing, praying, singing, crying, laughing; all in the name of the Lord. Then each staff took a turn praying for a staff and then being prayed for. Chrestman (our brother dorm) prayed over us and it was one of THE coolest 'spiritual' experience of my life. Just getting to be physically close with my staff and then the guys laying hands and pouring over us; it was bliss. 

However before that I just had a moment at dinner where I just felt Satan attacking my thoughts about honestly-judging other people.  Now usually when that happened before I went to Ottawa-C!C I would never say anything about Satan doing it or demanding Him to leave my mind.  However Carrie would just sometimes tell Satan to get behind her and I really respected that; she realized how REAL spiritual warfare really is.  So without even thinking I physically just pleaded for Satan to leave my mind; though it was semi-awkward after it was a cool moment within to see the war b/w flesh and spirit.

Now all my friends are here at school and there are so many things I yearn to do different comparing to last year b/w RA world and friend world.  For one, I would like to keep the close friends I do have, and not strain the relationships b/w them because of my hall.  However with that I desire to get to know the girls that I don't have as much in common with in the beginning.  If you are reading this, you know I am not girly or sporty.  I have a bit of those girls so I hope to get into their lives quicker because I would love to just know their hearts.  As well as the girls more 'like me'...whatever that means; I desire to know them just as well.  So with that it is ALL about time management.  Which I do think I do a good job on because of my life state and major.  The Lord has blessed me to not procrastinate, though I have my own set of struggles; that is not one.  So it is more about BALANCING my friend group vs. my kids; I know it will go better becasuse I plan to be proactive about it.  So that is something I am striving and praying to do differently.

Now it is time for welcome week with the kiddos, and the first set of classes for all. 
Round 3 of school, round 2 of being in music, and round 1 for double music education-let's do this!