This is the question that was asked to me almost a week ago-and it would not leave my head.
I have been asked this before probably at youth events but me and my prideful self never actually thought about it.
To be honest-I don't like people to know I severely struggle with certain things and that all comes down to my pride-issue number one.
Issue number two- God pretty much slapped me and I still didn't want to listen. But-He pretty much had to freaking grab hold of me, shake me, and finally-here we are.
I was..ok still am working on not being-a slave to money-because it is something to be honest has always been in my life and something I have not had to ponder on. Not to be boastful-heck none of it is mine. However becoming a Christian 3 1/2 years ago I have always heard of 'tithing' or giving to the Lord and -sometimes I'd throw money in as if 'oh that was nice of me'....no self. Dramatically wrong.
That my friend is an issue of lukewarm living-thinking you are sacrificing when you're not.
So about a year ago me and 2 friends got a compassion child, named AJ, and I told dad it was only $15 dollars a month for all of us and he was cool with it. Well it's been a while since the other 2 have helped-which is perfectly fine because I love AJ with all my heart, but so the past few..or more than a few months it's been coming from my dad's paycheck-which isn't a big deal for him but I have been claiming I have a compassion child-when I don't.
This is when Jesus comes in and I suddenly realize I now have a job-I mean not a whole lot of money-but enough to pay for him and myself. And let me TELL you that it was probably one of the hardest things Jesus told me to do. To give up my trust in my dad and put it in THE Dad. So I now am beginning to understand when people give even when it's difficult-Jesus-but hey-He's SO worth it. It also means I get to put more trust in God- and actually have to learn what it means to say 'no' even though I want it-here we go real world. My name is Meg and it sometimes is difficult to fully live for Jesus-and I fail at it a lot-obviously it took me long enough to come to this place of uncertainty.
Attention. Issue number three-
I also have MAJOR trust issues with Him- I don't know why-He ALWAYS comes through.
But I go back to my old way of thinking.
So-I challenge you-what are you a slave to?
Don't just think it-do something about it-don't wait FOREVER like me and have God pretty much physically slap you as close as possible-it is not a walk in the park with flowers feeling.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
It's been way too long...
SO I forgot about my blog for about a month-or however long.
I went to East Asia this Christmas to serve the Lord and share Him.
Oh.
My.
Gosh.
To be completely honest I have never been so broken in my whole life-but it needed to happen.
We basically threw a ZILLION Christmas parties and hung out with our new friends we were kind-of set up with. We got to share Him so so much and it was great. I have never done an M trip so it was a new experience the WHOLE trip-not to mention culture shock-of which I don't think I ever did because I just loved living in the culture. I want to go back-for longer. I want to be fully immersed into the culture-it was awesome. I loved being used as a tool for the King. He told me to go-and so I did. That is basically all I had and sometimes that was scary but so wonderful being in the dead center of His will.
I am not going to sit here and tell particular stories-if you want to know it is MUCH better in person than via internet-so ask me!
So I am now back and the first week was really hard-my heart was still in East Asia and I wanted to so badly to not be in America-and this was during RA training did I mention?
However the Lord slapped me in the face and said, "My Child! I brought you there for 3 weeks to do my work, but now I have brought you have to America to do my work-and both are JUST as important-the body of Christ can not function if everyone was in one place." So I said after a while of fighting about it, "OK GOD-here I am in America to serve you JUST as much as I was allowed to in East Asia. "
Now my best friend since middle school, Michelle, is in London and my other best friend Becca since college is also in London and I feel a bit lost without them to be honest. I mean I have my other best friends here-but the amount of my heart those two girls have is ridiculous. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for them and it hasn't even been a week. I am ready for them to come back but I am SO excited for them to get to experience that.
PS-if either of you are reading it I LOVE AND MISS YOU!-you should be getting a letter soon :)
AND NOW! I am applying for Summer Missions-yes-I know it is too late but Jesus is still opening doors even when they should be locked shut-no lie. To make a long story short I am gong to an RA conference at the end of January-the same weekend of STATE interviews-and if you don't do those then you can't go. But I have to go to the conference because my RD, Mel, has super high expectations of us-it's great but kind-of annoying in the best way possible. So i was in a predicament and just told Heidi well if I can't go then I can't go but if it works out let me know-so she called me the next day and said we are going to work it out!! I was not even supposed to apply because it was too late but they let me anyways. Now if you tell me that isn't Jesus then I don't know what is.
OK! One more thing! I am super excited because I am-well almost done with Joshua. Mel (boss/friend/sister in Christ)...coolest relationship ever I must say. Let me preface-this summer as I was struggling through kamp she was emailing us really encouraging emails and so I would always respond-I can only imagine what I said seeing I was dying as kamp pretty much. So she was telling us about this book she was reading called '66 love letters' and I decided when I got back I wanted to do it also-the guy writes a 'love letter' like it's from God of why He wrote that book of the bible. So I bought it and started bymy self. Mel saw it and we decided to study together! I am SO excited to have someone back in my life just like Lindy.
I am ready to grow like I did in high school again.
Sorry about this being so long-but it's been a REALLY hectic, life-changing, always something happening month. I think I am done-for now anyways. If you made it this far-I'm impressed.
O
I went to East Asia this Christmas to serve the Lord and share Him.
Oh.
My.
Gosh.
To be completely honest I have never been so broken in my whole life-but it needed to happen.
We basically threw a ZILLION Christmas parties and hung out with our new friends we were kind-of set up with. We got to share Him so so much and it was great. I have never done an M trip so it was a new experience the WHOLE trip-not to mention culture shock-of which I don't think I ever did because I just loved living in the culture. I want to go back-for longer. I want to be fully immersed into the culture-it was awesome. I loved being used as a tool for the King. He told me to go-and so I did. That is basically all I had and sometimes that was scary but so wonderful being in the dead center of His will.
I am not going to sit here and tell particular stories-if you want to know it is MUCH better in person than via internet-so ask me!
So I am now back and the first week was really hard-my heart was still in East Asia and I wanted to so badly to not be in America-and this was during RA training did I mention?
However the Lord slapped me in the face and said, "My Child! I brought you there for 3 weeks to do my work, but now I have brought you have to America to do my work-and both are JUST as important-the body of Christ can not function if everyone was in one place." So I said after a while of fighting about it, "OK GOD-here I am in America to serve you JUST as much as I was allowed to in East Asia. "
Now my best friend since middle school, Michelle, is in London and my other best friend Becca since college is also in London and I feel a bit lost without them to be honest. I mean I have my other best friends here-but the amount of my heart those two girls have is ridiculous. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for them and it hasn't even been a week. I am ready for them to come back but I am SO excited for them to get to experience that.
PS-if either of you are reading it I LOVE AND MISS YOU!-you should be getting a letter soon :)
AND NOW! I am applying for Summer Missions-yes-I know it is too late but Jesus is still opening doors even when they should be locked shut-no lie. To make a long story short I am gong to an RA conference at the end of January-the same weekend of STATE interviews-and if you don't do those then you can't go. But I have to go to the conference because my RD, Mel, has super high expectations of us-it's great but kind-of annoying in the best way possible. So i was in a predicament and just told Heidi well if I can't go then I can't go but if it works out let me know-so she called me the next day and said we are going to work it out!! I was not even supposed to apply because it was too late but they let me anyways. Now if you tell me that isn't Jesus then I don't know what is.
OK! One more thing! I am super excited because I am-well almost done with Joshua. Mel (boss/friend/sister in Christ)...coolest relationship ever I must say. Let me preface-this summer as I was struggling through kamp she was emailing us really encouraging emails and so I would always respond-I can only imagine what I said seeing I was dying as kamp pretty much. So she was telling us about this book she was reading called '66 love letters' and I decided when I got back I wanted to do it also-the guy writes a 'love letter' like it's from God of why He wrote that book of the bible. So I bought it and started bymy self. Mel saw it and we decided to study together! I am SO excited to have someone back in my life just like Lindy.
I am ready to grow like I did in high school again.
Sorry about this being so long-but it's been a REALLY hectic, life-changing, always something happening month. I think I am done-for now anyways. If you made it this far-I'm impressed.
O
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