I sit here a Mississippi College alumni. I have the privilege to be not only a MC alum, but a Kissimee Tribe alum. Beccca, Renee', and I pacted to be each other's bud's for homecoming 2015. I knew it was obvious I was supposed to go to homecoming. Why? Because I actually didn't ask off for the Saturday. We get a Saturday off a month and I forgot I hadn't asked for one this month, so naturally I got the last Saturday of the month.
So. Off we go. Renee' and I started the morning off at the 5k, went and showered, and jetted off to the KT alumni tea. That is when I knew it was going to be a day of life-breath upon my heart. To be honest I am discovering a lot about myself this month, and one of them being I get anxious in social situations. Running events, triathlon races, Fleet Feet events; you name it, I'm a nervous wreck. You would never know, but it happens. However. KT is a place I call home. I can be with over 100 girls in a room and feel like it's family. This is how life is supposed to be. Not that the 'running meg' is a different entity, but it was just so home-feeling to be with people who relate to me outside of the running realm Who know me as sister. Who know my life story because Becca and I were bold enough to throw it all on the table one Tuesday night. Kissimee was a place I knew I grew, but I didn't realize was going to be a place I could continue to grow with.
Everyone was not concerned with what I looked like, and I wasn't concerned with that. Nothing was about 'training'. I didn't respond one time today with my weekend in miles. I got to respond like a normal human, and that made it all worth it.
However. It was an incredible feeling realizing how many people were truly on my team for #journeytobeIronMeg. Everywhere I went that was the comment; congrats on your Ironman! I am humbled by the love, and have enjoyed getting to keep up with my fellow sisters on their athletic endeavors. Started as KT sisters, and getting to be life encouraging buds is an incredible feeling.
Becca and I journeyed over to the singers concert to have our little music homecoming, and it was just as filling. The music side of Meg is one that hasn't been touched in over 6 months, and is one that is roaring to come back out. That is what I went to school for! I spent more time in a practice room than my own bed most days. I love running and Jesus, but both of those loves came later in life. Music was my first true love, and is one that is unending. My soul was touched listening to those singers pour their heart upon mine this afternoon.
This week has been a lot of seeing just how many circles I have. And credit to my training pal Denise for this thought, but; every group that I am entangled in has different dynamics and doors to be opened and learned from. I am in love with my mid-20's friends because we stress about being extroverts who are also introverts because we are socially confused people who think we need to have it together, when in reality it's ok we don't. Then there is my FF crew who ventures through life with me, and I with them. We can rant about customers, to shoes, and then our random life stories all while putting up shoes. My tri community teaches me more about life itself than just 'swim bike run'. Everyone in their 30's/40's/50's, and then random me who just graduated college. I have about 485732 older sisters/moms/dads who take care of me, and show me that life doesn't get easier, but you just learn to dance in the rain and journey together.
The day ended with my twin and myself having a date and just spending the night enjoying each others' presence. Car jam time is one that will always be cherished between us, and we will jam to Passion and Taylor Swift always.
MC and KT; you made me who I am, and the more I am not with you the more I am realizing how vital that time was. Ah. Self-discovery is such a sweet thing to share within this time.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Life ponderings because why not; because we need to be empty.
Well. In case you didn't know, I did an Ironman a little over 3 weeks ago.
This is when I'm supposed to be figuring out my life, like I said I was going to do. And I have hit all the phases; from being tired, to emotional, to mad, and sad. Yeah. Recovery isn't for wusses!
Anyways. Not the point of the blog.
So. Let's go back to the 'figuring out my life' thing.
And. I 've come to a few conclusions.
1) For the Love
After reading what can be a life-altering book, I am trying to view life itself differently; ('For the Love'). One chapter this is the pondering for a calling: 'If it's not true for a single, Christian, Haitian mom, then it's not true for me.' AKA: there isn't some life changing moment(s) she experiences to know her 'calling'. It's her kids, her house, making sure they all get food, have a roof. There is no 'options', and if there is she just does what she thinks is best for her household.
Why can't we approach life this way? Why does it have to be some 'crazy' thing? Why can't I just work at Fleet Feet because it's where I am right now.
Yes...I am pondering Peru. Yes I am genuinely not sure yet. Yes I have a slew of reasons, and that's ok. But. At the end of it all, I need to do what is best for me; that end hasn't been determined.
2) Emptying ourselves.
'As soon as we're empty of ourselves, there's a place for Christ, because only then are we in any sense ready to recognize and accept Christ as the totally other, who is not me.'
So. I've been studying Romans with a bud from work, and we are in chapter 2. It's all about the 'bad news', and how you can't grasp the good news without genuinely seeing the bad news within yourself. And. That's just it. I need to be completely empty at the throne of Christ before He has a place in my life. He can't come in unless there's space for Him. And space can't be found until you know you need to clear out your bad news. And quite honestly I haven't cared to make space; to know change will happen. But. No. I'm ready to empty myself; I am becoming ready to recognize and accept Christ as my total other. He is the only other.
Certainly not saying I'm there, but I am saying I'm ok with trying. I'm ok with taking the risk. He is worth it.
3) Serving 2 gods.
I always think of the verse that says 'you can't serve God and money'. And. Quite honestly I have always thought of it in the sense of 'I have my own struggles of life, but that is not one of them, so that part doesn't apply to me.' But. I have never pondered replacing 'money' with my own struggles. You can't serve God and popularity; you can't serve God and exercise; you can't serve God and whatever else. So. That's interesting. Replace your 'thing' with money. And deal with that; live this day serving God. Live this day instead of trying to 'not do whatever', but by just simply living for HIM, thus in process sin will decrease.
There you have it. I'm happy to be done IM training. I am back pondering, reading, learning, failing, growing, struggling. I'm back trying to process with the blog world; because it's worth it.
This is when I'm supposed to be figuring out my life, like I said I was going to do. And I have hit all the phases; from being tired, to emotional, to mad, and sad. Yeah. Recovery isn't for wusses!
Anyways. Not the point of the blog.
So. Let's go back to the 'figuring out my life' thing.
And. I 've come to a few conclusions.
1) For the Love
After reading what can be a life-altering book, I am trying to view life itself differently; ('For the Love'). One chapter this is the pondering for a calling: 'If it's not true for a single, Christian, Haitian mom, then it's not true for me.' AKA: there isn't some life changing moment(s) she experiences to know her 'calling'. It's her kids, her house, making sure they all get food, have a roof. There is no 'options', and if there is she just does what she thinks is best for her household.
Why can't we approach life this way? Why does it have to be some 'crazy' thing? Why can't I just work at Fleet Feet because it's where I am right now.
Yes...I am pondering Peru. Yes I am genuinely not sure yet. Yes I have a slew of reasons, and that's ok. But. At the end of it all, I need to do what is best for me; that end hasn't been determined.
2) Emptying ourselves.
'As soon as we're empty of ourselves, there's a place for Christ, because only then are we in any sense ready to recognize and accept Christ as the totally other, who is not me.'
So. I've been studying Romans with a bud from work, and we are in chapter 2. It's all about the 'bad news', and how you can't grasp the good news without genuinely seeing the bad news within yourself. And. That's just it. I need to be completely empty at the throne of Christ before He has a place in my life. He can't come in unless there's space for Him. And space can't be found until you know you need to clear out your bad news. And quite honestly I haven't cared to make space; to know change will happen. But. No. I'm ready to empty myself; I am becoming ready to recognize and accept Christ as my total other. He is the only other.
Certainly not saying I'm there, but I am saying I'm ok with trying. I'm ok with taking the risk. He is worth it.
3) Serving 2 gods.
I always think of the verse that says 'you can't serve God and money'. And. Quite honestly I have always thought of it in the sense of 'I have my own struggles of life, but that is not one of them, so that part doesn't apply to me.' But. I have never pondered replacing 'money' with my own struggles. You can't serve God and popularity; you can't serve God and exercise; you can't serve God and whatever else. So. That's interesting. Replace your 'thing' with money. And deal with that; live this day serving God. Live this day instead of trying to 'not do whatever', but by just simply living for HIM, thus in process sin will decrease.
There you have it. I'm happy to be done IM training. I am back pondering, reading, learning, failing, growing, struggling. I'm back trying to process with the blog world; because it's worth it.
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