November 26th, 2012-Yahweh

I am so overcome by life I don't even have an appropriate title for it.
Either way I am home (at school) from thanksgiving break.  It was one of the best breaks I could ask for.  It was a momentous break for a plethora of reasons.  For one-it was the break where I realized I needed to have the 'missions' talk with my parents because I keep getting asked about post-college plans since my university time is now almost 1/2 way done-after that it is downhill for time left at MC-meaning apparently I need to know what's going on (LIES!).  Anyways I mean Jesus and I know what I am doing after school-going overseas.  However I needed to have this conversation with the parental's.  Now-please imagine going up to your parents and basically saying, 'Father, the child you will have spent the past almost 23 years helping achieve success, is going to by American dream standards-throw it all away for the sake of Christ, and she couldn't be more excited and anxious and overcome to.  Now-I know you don't understand any of that-so stop trying to and just go with the flow.'  Talk about heart wrenching.  Having to talk about life outside of school-about buying a one-way ticket, all the things that comes with living overseas for more than a year or two.  Lord willing I plan for it to be my life, and that is when it starts to affect more than just myself-and I am acutely aware of this fact.  Dad was asking lots of questions that a worried parent should ask-and I'm glad he asked them because it make me more and more sure of my 'calling'.
However the part that is fuzzy is how I am getting there.  There are so many options and organizations out there that are wonderful and Christ-centered.  Now to take this time to just chill and find the right fit for myself.  But the thing is-is I want to know now who/what I am going through.  Will I be teaching?  Will it be cold (for me-this is a HUGE question!)  But alas-God has not yet revealed any of this to me yet.  He is gently telling me, "Only in My timing My precious child." And I am scoffingly saying, "fine."  But NO-it needs to be like an obedient child saying, "Yes, Sir."  That shall come with time I guess.

I got to see my whole family which has been a while, and it was awesome to just have quality hang time and just relive old times, and go to lunch with some friends that I have gone to church with since high school.

My niece, Zoe, and my 2 nephew's- Jake (hands on knees) and Jonathan.

The crew of us- Cody, Andrew, Michelle, Amanda, Michael, and I.

Now I am back and I have 18 days until Canada and 36 until Passion!! I am SO excited for my Christmas break it's not even funny.  I am really struggling with staying here at MC when I know I am going to have a mind-blowing/God-seeing/convicting/friend-restoring Christmas break that I know my heart so needs.  I need to see God in a new light.  I need to have that real community back in Canada for a week.  I need to experience God in a small place, then in a GINORMOUS place where God will be moving the same way He is in Canada, then He will in Atlanta in the hearts of 60,000 university students.

Experiencing the same God at this local Farmer's market

Same God I experienced at the little train station-I'll experience in this setting.

I am going to do a new year's resolution that I have needed to do-but been fearful of-but after watching some friends do it I decided to jump on the band wagon after everyone is done with it. I am going to go on a 'boy fast'.  For one year-to not even ponder the fact of having a boy friend.  To strive to look at guys and not think, "Oh I wonder if he is Mr. It!"  My heart needs to rest in the knowledge that GOD is my romancer.  That I can glorify the Lord just as well without a boy beside me.  That He is genuinely enough.  I need a whole year to grasp this concept and I can hardly wait to see the journey God has for me with it all.

God is faithful; all the time.

Well I felt like it had been forever since I blogged but alas-it was like a week-whatever.
God has really been emphasizing how faithful He really is to do ALL for good.  First, one of my good friends and I decided to be accountability partners and not to be vague-but the way it happened was literally a God send and it could not have gone any other path.  Two, after going to TX it really hit me that I really needed a small group of people to do life with-but not university students.  Well, some great friends at home that participate in BSF in Mobile.  They told me there is a pre-BSF in Jackson where some ladies get together for an hour and have a devotional and pray that this kind of study will happen.  So I have been contacting the lady and I go Dec. 4, and come to find out they have been praying for a young woman to join them.  So the Lord put the connection together for us at the perfect time so that we would yearn for each other equally, and humbly.  I have truly been blown away by the fact by how intricately the Lord will work ALL things out for His children. (Romans 8:28)
I have also been doing the whole '30 days of thankfulness' and it has really helped me see how thankful I am for literally everything in this life.  Examples:  friends, family, coffee, talents, TV.  I often don't take the time to  tell God thank you for my flavored coffee beans or for How I Met Your Mother.

Another thing I came to realize.  At the start of the semester I had made a statement that I wasn't going to make any effort for new friends, and that I didn't need anymore.  Well let me be the first to say that God HAD to have be laughing when I claimed that.  I have made a new best friend, and become close to several new people this year.  I would have NEVER seen myself with these people, but the Lord knew that we needed each other and put us all together at such a time as this!

Now I am going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow morning and I am incredibly excited to get to see some people I have not seen since May, then my family I saw fall break, but to get to share Thanksgiving together with them ALL shall be interesting. :)

Dreams beginning to meet reality

Holaaaaa blog world.
Well it has been a whirlwind of a week-all before Thanksgiving break.  Let's get right to it.
So in case you have never gotten the memo-I love Jesus+I love East Asia=I want to go to East Asia for Him when I am done at MC (nothing new).  I know the end result; journeyman.  I just am trying to figure out the journey to journeyman (so it sounded cool and wise in the moment OK!)  If you want the whole story and you are actually reading this blog and don't know-then message me-but 9 times out of 10 you already know my over-analyzing story over it all with my major andddd I don't feel like explaining it over this medium.

It is weird thinking about life outside this bubble of Clinton, MS-getting to embrace the world at its' finest.  And to be honest I would ignore this ridiculous...nudge..i don't like the word call (I think it frightens me a little still)..so I don't know what to call it..anyways this *insert word here* for East Asia.  However- I can't ignore the fact that I am so chill with living there while most people aren't (note:  nothing against that-I am glad people are in America-without I wouldn't be here) however we all have a 'feeling' for places to live- and for some reason God decided to place this 'feeling' to me for overseas.  I can't ignore the thousands of people that are being eternally separated from Christ-being thrown into Hell because they don't know Jesus.  I can't ignore the fact that I would do anything to go overseas any moment of life.  Gosh I can't imagine my life without Him; I want everyone to know what He can do for them.  I mean-y'all I deserve Hell; you deserve Hell too.  However THANKS BE TO GOD THROUGH CHRIST I get to be seen as pure...PURE.. as in..flawless.  OK I could continue my rant because it simply astounds me on a daily basis; but I shall stop at that and safely say; East Asian people need Him and I am going to be God's vessel for it!

First meal in E.A.  Glad that moment is eternally over!

I just didn't expect to have this conversation with my family right now.  The conversation where it goes something like having reality hit them that one day they will bring me to an airport with a one way ticket.  That it will be the last hug for a long time.  It literally saddens my heart every time I think of it in that matter.  However every time I am with my Chinese convo partner or international students in general; I feel so 'in' and could see my lifestyle being that, and realizing we won't socialize in heaven; that drives my emotions more-so.

First ticket to Asia; ready for another one!

In one month from this moment I will be in my Canadian home.  I can hardly believe I get to type this.  That my dream to go back is actually occurring and that second chances do happen.  I think about having my dance parties with the fam; getting to worship and have genuine life with the people that poured into me knowing I would leave in 2 months expecting to never have contact with me again (thank you God for letting that one be false!)  Safe to say; my countdown is penetrating my every ion of being.

Summertime BeaverTail; in Winter I plan to eat one while ICE SKATING!

Reuniting's rock-physically and spiritually.

This weekend I took a crazy road trip to Austin, TX-it was me, June (my car), and my wonderful iPod with the open road!  The 8 hour drive was wonderful enough-getting to scream a plethora of songs varying from T-Swift, WICKED, Passion, DCB, and many random others.  To get to just-BE for 8 whole hours by my self with the Lord to think and pray.  It was the longest car trip I have driven thus far in my 20 years of life and I decided I LOVED it.  But that wasn't even the point of the weekend!....(continue down)

The MS river-between Vicksburg, and Louisiana!

It was SO beautiful on the open TX roads with the trees changing before my eyes.

SO.  I went to see some people I met in East Asia-who are at a stage of life that ultimately in 10 years I genuinely see myself being at.  It was a first for me to get to know people that that are precisely where I want to be so I soaked up every single minute of talking, listening, and asking questions.  I loved every moment and it was genuinely worth every penny of gas, and moment spent in June.

I learned quite a bit.
1- I was reminded of how much I love serving families and desire to on a weekly basis here at school and to be a part of a forming one.  I hope to be able to pro-actively do something about it soon.
2-I also was reminded of why to go...why you ask?  Well-ask yourself why NOT?  Don't ask why-but why not?  The reasons suddenly get smaller as you ponder the vast amounts of people who need Jesus and how He indeed calls us all to GO.  Not permanently (though some of us are and I can hardly wait)-but indeed to at some point.  I love being around people who are ultra-sensitive to the spirit because I pray that I get to be 'that family' one day that is just on the dot of where the Lord wants.
3-I also am beginning to see that my family in Canada was not some over-extreme perfection of parenting-but that in fact their style might be 'normal' for the household devoted to the Lord.  I can't wait to see what the Lord has planned for my life with this persona of 'parenting' playing out in my head.

Then Sunday I went to church and heard SUCH a wonderful message from Michael and it was about Ezekiel 37-the Valley of the Dry Bones.  Now I am not saying I am in a valley or anything-I love where I am in life and soak up every moment.  I am saying however that my heart is in a valley.  That it forgets everything I learned this summer and yearns to go back to some old ways of life.  And my flesh says yes, but my spirit says no; thus creating utter inner turmoil.  I was praying about it until I looked at the mirror and saw, "RUN LIKE HELL!" written on it and realized that there is more to do than pray.  Jesus-I am running from my old ways of life and sprinting into Your arms, and into the presence of my dear friends who will keep me accountable in life and will pray with me.  I thank You for them endlessly.

I'm doing good with pictures with my stories here!

It's been a while blog world.  So here is my life the past 2 weeks!  

We had Shawreth Informal and it was blissfully perfect.  Kirk drove me and another dance informal couple.  He opened the car door, he pulled out my chair, we had fun dancing, we took pictures, we talked; it was awesome.  This whole 'date'  thing is super new to my life so it was a fun new experience!

KT sisters at Shawreth Informal

December 14 is a BIG day for us both!! :) 

My poor fish, Leviathan  might be on the tail end of life here :(  He has some weird disease that is in his chest and could die in a week, or two months.  That fish is reaching the 3rd year of college and I really wanted him to be with me for all of my MC year's-but I guess there will be a Leviathan part 2 eventually.

Poor Leviathan with his chest thing!s 

So I pondered not sharing but it's too....well i have a weird sense of humor..but it's hilarious.  I decided the world is against me going to Texas Thursday-  However I WILL be victorious Lord willing and I mean that one a whole lot literally now!

I spent 3 hours in the health clinic Monday making sure I didn't have pnuemonia-they thought I did..but it's not..after a chest x-ray and taking blood from my LEFT arm (dominant-that is important).  It's like some awkward in-between.  But my mindset is that I am getting better fast and I must say that it is kind-of working!

So Monday night we had KT big sis little sis reveal (more on that later).  We went to a gymnastic place.  First I slice my finger open with a can opener.  THEN..this is the fun part.  I tore a muscle in my LEFT arm or something.  Disabling some motions of my arm.  I tried a back-hand spring-well I succeeded at 2 and then apparently the 3rd one is NOT the charm.  So Tuesday I went BACK to the healthplex (I said I was becoming a regular) and they said it wasn't broken-but they are pretty sure it isn't fractured-but that I tore a tendon or muscle or something like that.  So I have a sling and ice and all to make it better soon.

Tuesday after going to the Healthplex and being high basically on drugs because I took sleep meds during the day-I got my eyebrow pierced.  Yes-I made a weird collegiate decision and decided to #YOLO! :)

me and my new piercing!

Thank you Lord for EACH of these beautiful girls in my family tree.

Now-Monday night was KT big sis-little sis reveal!  We welcomed 4 new beautiful grand-babies into our family and we had a BALL Monday night!  We went to a gymnastics place and had a GRAND time getting to know each other!  I love them oh so much.

Tuesday before going back to the Healthplex-my dear floor partner needed to vote-because I had voted during fall break.  So we went to vote and it was a momentous occasion that we needed a picture. (then we went and found out she had pink eye!!)

The people taking the picture thought it was sweet of how excited we were!