Thankful fun-filled times sprinkled with 'what's next?' (spoiler alert-don't expect much!)

If  you want to run faster, run with a faster runner: Newman.

If you need to run slower, run with a slower runner: me.

If you want to run far, run with a long distance runner: Jeff.

December 17th, Newman had his birthday 'party'. How did he celebrate? He ran his age (plus one): 31 miles (50k baby). Jeff, Newman, and I were the official trio.

Blood (Jeff), sweat (all), and tears (me) were also accomplished between the 3 of us haha!

~So what's next for me? Since spontaneously running St. Jude/31, my love and drive for distance was rekindled and instead of marathons, of course I want to go big.

~When? April 14th; a 12 hour race here in Jackson. AKA I get to sleep in my own bed and have all my friends and running buddies along for the ride. AKA no one cares how fast I go!!

~How am I training? To keep my recovery first, week day runs won't look like everyone else's (5-6 miles), 1 long run, 1 walk day, and 1/2 rest days.

No huge plan. Just gonna run some, walk some, realize that a lot of the sport is mental, so mentally prepare myself for the long day, and just see what my body can do!

Fellow ultra/run buddies

~How am I doing back in Jackson?

I am LOVING it. Even in the tough/struggling moments, I still am grateful for the opportunity to be back in my city; back with my tribe. From girls nights, to girl time with my best friends kiddo, there's so much to live with and for. 

Don't be mistaken that darkness still comes, but the reaction is different, and that's what counts.

I am about to switch to FULL TIME at work and could not be more thrilled. With every difficult fit where I just want to fall apart, but don't, I prove to myself over and over that I am ok; that this time is 'different'; that I don't have to go back.

~What's next?

Nothing. Between treatment round one and round two was 5 months; 5 months from what I thought was 'it', to complete meltdown again. So, before making any committed life plans, I am giving myself 6 months to simply be; to reaffirm in myself that I will continue to thrive where I'm at. I feel like that's a fair game right? Right. 

Because when Karen visits, old times are meant to happen.

Christmas 2017 was definitely my own marathon. 3 houses in 7 hours. #divoricetimestwoprobs It was fun-filled to see my siblings, parents, nieces, nephews, cousins, and even my long time discipler turned bestie, Lindy!

I survived, got some presents, gave some presents, and more importantly got to spend time with those that have journeyed life with me and me with them. 

MY SEEEEEESTER 

So. There's your Meg update. Striving to live everyday to the fullest. Living in such a blessing filled life. Living for a higher purpose all the days of my life. Living the struggle moments still, yet coming out of them.

In Your presence God, I'm completely satisfied. 

For You I sing, I dance. I rejoice in this Divine romance. 

Spontaneous redemption

So many things going on in my brain I don't know where to begin!

I have so many joy filled moments to counteract the darkness that sometimes happens in my brain. 

I have so many redeeming moments to counteract the moments that aren't my brightest shining ones. 

I have so many grace filled blessings to count that I can't even have a counteraction. 

So I decided to do a thing. I sorta kinda (TOTALLY) ran St. Jude FULL marathon. Whoops. 

~Lemme explain. What happened was I secretly signed up for the full way back when. I had all these hopes and dreams of the 'perfect' marathon; I wanted a certain time; I was 'ready' to redeem this distance. Well, time passes, training happens, and I realized in order to put recovery first I was going to have to give up full training; so I did. I decided within myself to drop down to the half. NOW. The half was technically sold out, but St. Jude told me I could just run the half and call it a day. 

~Fast forward to packet pickup. I receive all the full marathon stuff; the bib; the shirt; the info. I have a complete meltdown over that my hopes and dreams to redeem myself wasn't coming true; I wasn't going to get my time; my 'perfect' marathon was gone. I was ready to jump in my car and come back to Jackson.

~The story doesn't end there.

Thanks to my dear friend Candiss, (pictured below) I had a come to Jesus meeting of 'what would happen if I did run the full?'

So. It was decided. 12 hours before the race. I would go for the full. 

expoing with my best friend was pretty rad

So. Race day comes. Mile 11 comes for the split off. At this point I was happy-go-lucky, doing everything right in order to complete the full-so off I went with the random strangers to embark on the next 15 miles of the race.

The miles pass, and I am LOVING it. The weather was a bit warm, but nothing crazy. The hills were there but nothing unmanageable. The miles are ticking away with each water stop and I see more and more of how strong my body really is. The wall and I never met and that was pretty epic. 

I learned something that day. Redemption looked much different than what I imagined, but it still happened. This marathon is one for the books where I could care LESS what my time was. I had rough estimates but I just kinda ran and kept going until the finish line appeared; this was a new experience that's for sure. It was actually pretty freeing to not really look at my watch! I also fueled pretty dang well if I do say so myself (Meg-1. Ed-0). I ran for myself, by myself, and for no one else. I went to this race by myself and had a blast doing so. 

marathon #7-SMASHED!

In other news I am running for kicks and giggles these days. Running with my Clinton guys, running with random friends, running by myself;  just running for the joy of it. There are different seasons of life for running and I am in one where time and I simply aren't enmeshed. A season of truly finding my identity as Meg-a girl who DOES run but isn't DEFINED by her runs.  I'll get back into racing in due time, but for now, I'll just hit the pavement and the watch is optional.

So. There's that. Life is going. Life isn't perfect, but it's a heckuva lot better than it used to be. And for that, I am truly grateful.

We sang a new song at church and the chorus is pretty spot on; "God with us. God for us. Nothing can come against; no one can stand between us."

This is a truth to cling onto when the gravity of the last year weighs upon me. NOTHING did, is, or will come between me and God. No moment, diagnosis, disorder, person, thought; ANYTHING not of Him win because the Lord is with me and for me. 

Praise.