So many things going on in my brain I don't know where to begin!
I have so many joy filled moments to counteract the darkness that sometimes happens in my brain.
I have so many redeeming moments to counteract the moments that aren't my brightest shining ones.
I have so many grace filled blessings to count that I can't even have a counteraction.
So I decided to do a thing. I sorta kinda (TOTALLY) ran St. Jude FULL marathon. Whoops.
~Lemme explain. What happened was I secretly signed up for the full way back when. I had all these hopes and dreams of the 'perfect' marathon; I wanted a certain time; I was 'ready' to redeem this distance. Well, time passes, training happens, and I realized in order to put recovery first I was going to have to give up full training; so I did. I decided within myself to drop down to the half. NOW. The half was technically sold out, but St. Jude told me I could just run the half and call it a day.
~Fast forward to packet pickup. I receive all the full marathon stuff; the bib; the shirt; the info. I have a complete meltdown over that my hopes and dreams to redeem myself wasn't coming true; I wasn't going to get my time; my 'perfect' marathon was gone. I was ready to jump in my car and come back to Jackson.
~The story doesn't end there.
Thanks to my dear friend Candiss, (pictured below) I had a come to Jesus meeting of 'what would happen if I did run the full?'
So. It was decided. 12 hours before the race. I would go for the full.
expoing with my best friend was pretty rad |
The miles pass, and I am LOVING it. The weather was a bit warm, but nothing crazy. The hills were there but nothing unmanageable. The miles are ticking away with each water stop and I see more and more of how strong my body really is. The wall and I never met and that was pretty epic.
I learned something that day. Redemption looked much different than what I imagined, but it still happened. This marathon is one for the books where I could care LESS what my time was. I had rough estimates but I just kinda ran and kept going until the finish line appeared; this was a new experience that's for sure. It was actually pretty freeing to not really look at my watch! I also fueled pretty dang well if I do say so myself (Meg-1. Ed-0). I ran for myself, by myself, and for no one else. I went to this race by myself and had a blast doing so.
marathon #7-SMASHED! |
So. There's that. Life is going. Life isn't perfect, but it's a heckuva lot better than it used to be. And for that, I am truly grateful.
We sang a new song at church and the chorus is pretty spot on; "God with us. God for us. Nothing can come against; no one can stand between us."
This is a truth to cling onto when the gravity of the last year weighs upon me. NOTHING did, is, or will come between me and God. No moment, diagnosis, disorder, person, thought; ANYTHING not of Him win because the Lord is with me and for me.
Praise.
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