Fore-coming freedom in all the ways I never envisioned.

Talking about my first week of treatment is tough one.  I would like to be able to say that I love it here.  That I have made lifelong friends. That I don't miss anything and everything is the perfect mix of challenge but good.

Week one and week two of treatment just isn't that way.  Week one is overwhelming; your desire to go home each day increases; every meal; hourly challenges; 473728 'check-in's' of how you feel.
Let's not forget this whole walking pneumonia thing coinciding with week one!!

Because going to the minor hospital the 3rd day in Cordova is the cool thing to do.

I miss Jackson more than you'll ever know.  I miss my friends; my Pinelake church family and kids ministry people.  I miss walking into Candiss' house and her kids just assuming it's me. I miss my Natchez Trace drives to work; runs with my Wednesday partner Lesley; Meghan; Erica.  I miss living with Renee' always catching up on each others' work drama (which never happens in either of our lives since we both work at perfect place with perfect people :P)  I miss DEARLY my FF fam; I can't wait to be back with them.
Eventually I'll be back with those things; when I am better able to.  But right now home is not the place for me, and it's ok to not be ok with that but to do it anyways because we can do hard things!

Thanks for encouraging me and getting me here. I love you Candiss no matter what!

It's not bad though-I don't need rescuing! I have a good roommate who is different from me but we live well together already; we got another one this weekend too.  I went out with 3 ladies from group; I found a few girls I'll connect well with; a few girls I don't connect much with.  We keep each other accountable and simply do life as best as we possibly can.
Group overall is encouraging and is an atmosphere where life-change will happen.  It's going to be the place where this blob of 'fore-coming freedom' I have always quietly dreamed of will happen.  We even did a visual exercise where we envisioned our recovered selves and it was such a beautiful experience listening to everyone's dreams and hear theirs align with mine.

TIGHTS WEATHER IS IN MEMPHIS Y'ALL

What's a normal day?
I usually wake up at 6/6:30. Read. Do homework. Journal. Coffee. Breakfast. Take a walk (when I can run--RUN).  It's a beautiful morning that is low-key to prepare for the day at hand.
Drive to Fairhaven around 9:20
check-in/vitals: 9:30
snack: 10ish
group #1: 10:30
lunch: 12:30
post-lunch process: 1ish
group #2 (sometimes a third group exists here too): 1:15
individual with my individual (Kelley) or nutritionist (Jenni) usually at 3 or so (or sometimes before vitals).

After group? If I don't run before, I'll run after; go on a walk; do homework; nap; talk to my friends from Jackson; FaceTime dates; read for fun; read for group; Netflix; hang with other girls/my roomie.

Shelby Farms is such a pretty place to walk around and run in!

~Snack is pretty fun: we try to get it over with quick so we can go back to the room to hang out, read, do outside art therapy, or whatever we want.
~AM group the first 2/3 weeks is 'compassion group' where you talk about your 'compassionate self'.  That is the KEY word for Fairhaven: compassionate; it's pretty beautiful if you ask me.  So compassion group is a little different everyday but revolves around our compassion book.
~After the first few weeks it's mind and body or some sort of non-book based therapy.
~Lunch is usually good; sometimes intense.  Some days we process more than others.
~Group 2 is different everyday: relapse prevention, IFS work, mind/body, poetry, art therapy, DBT work, Nutrition group; the list could go on.

I love me some art therapy.

So.  It's going.  I'll be here a little while that's for sure.  But: for fore-coming freedom it will be worth it.  I know I'm worth spending the time on because I want to be back in Jackson healthy and happily taking on what life has to offer.  With that, social media has become the place where I get homesick the most.  So-I am peacing out until I'm more comfortable here.  I'll still blog but-I won't be keeping up.  SO PLEASE if something happens shoot me a text.  I love pictures and random texts.  I love #mytribe and how it has expanded.  I wouldn't make it without y'all and the new people being added from all over the USA here in Cordova!

Treatment is going.  It's the best decision I've made for my life.  I can't wait to meet the Meg that I'm learning more about.  It's harder than any Ironman I'll ever do.  This is a small group of people who has my utmost respect to fight for themselves, and decide to get better, no matter the cost of uncomfortable moments; I hope to get there and am on my way.