There's so many things to say that will never begin to explain the depth of everyday. But first let's look at some light-hearted fun things that have been happening!
Saturday (today) I had the thrilling opportunity to go to Tupelo to see my kindred spirit, and her kiddos. AG qualified for STATE MEET as a 7th grader so getting to cheer her on was wonderful. I've also gotten to facetime/talk to a plethora of friends from Jackson and that always makes my day. I am happy to hear from you; tell me about your day! I love getting mail that simply tells me daily life stories. Trust me, it's crazy enough here I love hearing your work/run/school stories HAH!
I had the privilege of spending last Sunday with the Avery's. I went to church with their family; went over for lunch (15 people mind you), laughed, had birthday yumminess, talked; all the fun things that people do on Sunday's. It was beautifully good for my soul in so many forms.
I also Facetimed into my bible study in Clinton. It was SO fun to jump right back in!
I have been learning oodles about myself and it's only been two weeks. Imagine having to change the way you've been thinking your entire life; that is what my everyday is like. It's pretty intense safe to say. Learning how bound I have been to myself for 24 years is a sobering reality, but one that is going to be freed up is an even better life picture.
Learning the ins and outs of what exactly is imbalanced in my brain; all the things that caused it, what we can do about it, and how to deal practically with it. I'll be here a little while to go through the individual parts of my treatment plan; it takes time, work, trust, and the desire to do it all.
Learning different systems of therapy, about the various 'self's' we have, how they communicate, what the lack of communication does, and how to have more inner dialogue between them all (no...this is not multiple personality disorder!! :D).
We talk a lot about what our bodies can do. So. Here is some art therapy because this will always be my favorite part of group; that and my individual sessions with Kelley (primary therapist) and Jenni (dietician).
We talk a lot about self-compassion, and how to implement it. That we are raised in a culture that counteracts the very notion; that we should 'suck it up', always put others first, and smile. Self compassion sometimes needs the complete opposite, and that's OK. For me, I need to learn to embrace negativity, sadness, anger, and all the things that I don't show. So that is going to take some time; recovery has to come first and if that means staying here longer than so be it.
So. Here we are. Fairhaven is the sole thing that is going to alter the course of the rest of my life. Can I just say that knowing I am doing the thing that is going to free me to be a healthy Meg is pretty enthralling. I honestly was sick of being sick. You might not of ever had the 'honor' *sarcasm* of seeing some of my not-so-pretty moments, but for those that did saw they sure inhibited my daily life.
Just like diabetes will hinder you; untreated brain chemicals will do the same. Lack of control over your blood sugar is the EXACT same as lack of control over how I will be feeling that moment.
This is not where I talk about having sudden control. This is where the word surrender comes into play. That I am continually surrendering my thoughts, emotions, desires; all the things into the hands of Fairhaven and Christ. I surrender every morning into His will, and His will is for me to be here, so they coincide beautifully.
Week 2 is done, and I am hopeful for week 3 to continue the success from week 2.
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