God-sized life at the God-given moment.

Right now.  As I sit here on my bed incredibly overwhelmed with life- I contemplate just quitting and moving overseas-today.  Just.  Jumping on a place to go ultimately do what I know I am placed here on Earth to do.  To live with Chinese people; to live as a Christ-follower no matter what.  However, my schooling that at one time was the pinnacle to my success is becoming my mental stumbling block.  A day doesn't go by where I don't think about dropping out after the semester and moving overseas.  Don't get me wrong; I'm so glad my parents want the best for me.  However I can hardly wait for the day to graduate for so many reasons.  I mean for one-to GRADUATE.  But then because  then I know that nothing is holding me to the states.  My parents will help me get to China with their full blessings with one stipulation:  college degree.  So I will stay here for now and get the part of the equation that I promised to fulfill.

my school and bestie

However-I wish knowing that in 2 1/2 years I will move to China makes schooling this semester easier; it doesn't.  It is day 2 and I have already had a mental breakdown involving tears and just crying out to God in desperation for strength.  I keep learning from Him every moment that He will provide the strength, knowledge, stamina, focus, and everything else at the TIME I need it.  He knows when I need God-sized strength on Mondays, but that on Thursday's I need God-given focus to do my homework.  It's cool seeing God's characteristics happen on a college campus in any given week.

The last time I blogged was about what happened at Passion 2013 and what all I learned knowledge wise and what my heart gained.  So it's been over a week and I have been through RA training and through KT officer retreat.  I have gained things on my plate and dropped things.  God has been making it very clear to me what I need to keep and drop.  I am starting to see the difference in 'good' things and 'best' things for my life.  Narrowing down my focus and being invested and investing in particular certain areas of life.

Music- it's all God-given and I can't fathom not majoring in it.  So it will always go first.  It was indeed my first love.  I loved music before I loved Jesus, and though I love Jesus insurmountably more than music,

music will have the spot in my heart as my first love.

RA-  It is my job.  I make money by basically being other girls' friends and helping them understand dorm life and live it with them.  I get to be Jesus to 26 precious girls and how I got this job is only from Jesus.

KT- Getting to find myself in a sisterhood is something that is special and makes that group of people hold a place in your heart.  KT is where I found my best friends, and I am now an officer to help to give back a portion of what KT has given to me.

Discipleship/friends- I have a place in my heart for discipleship within my friends because my mentor in high school, Lindy was a crucial part of my growing in the Lord.  Getting to go through life with her was amazing and if I could be half of what she was to me, I know the Lord will look down and smile at His children.  I also just love people.  I know relationships are what I was created for and will always make time for them.

International students- I will always have a 'conversation partner' because let's face it.  I love international students; I feel in place with them.  So at the least getting to intentionally know one (and some of their friends) a semester is always a wonderful, challenging, fulfilling part of the week.