The battlegrounds of life; the joy of thankfulness, and sunshine filled days.

My life mantra right now.

Ya know there are a thousand ways I want to start this blog out.  I am in a phase of life where I continually look back and think 'if you would've told me in April I would be doing _______ , I would not of believed you!'

But.  Here we are.  The pieces of life are melding back together.  But let me never forget the darkness fought me-HARD.  The depths of every weakness (and then some) tried to overcome me; consume me.  And I let it win for a while; with moments of a lapse of light; but it ultimately didn't win.  Fighting happened; the battle grounds were trampled.

Music; my life saver-literally.

It reminds me of how in a war zone not one person 'saves the day'.  Though some people are more 'remembered' than others, each person is needed equally.  Same thing! This fight has been long, hard, weary-laden; involving sleepless nights, worry-filled days, questionable mornings, and everything in-between for me and my people.  But #mytribe got more specific; more involved; more intense in the best way possible. 
They fought with me.  They let me know the other side is out there; to be patient with the process; reminding me continually the light was there.  Though my eyes were blinded from that Truth, theirs were not.  And I finally saw it; I arrived; we won (duh).
I could write a novel of stories of how 'so-and-so' was there for 'this' and I am so grateful they still love me.  That is the best life I could ever ask for too.  Experiencing such deep love from so many people is something I wish everyone could have in their life; I am immensely blessed to have that.

GIRLS NIGHT to celebrate Karen and wish her well in Florida. SO thankful for this family.

So practically what does this mean?
1) I am happily full-time at Fleet Feet and here to stay for a while.  I am loving everyone on staff; loving helping people, and indwelling everything Fleet Feet life. #fleetfeetfam
2) I am reading and soaking in everything USAT.  Knowing I am going to be a coach is still incredible.  I am coaching at FF, and on the side, and that is an incredible experience.

my heart; some of our Ryanman training group.

3) I am back to loving hard.  From October to April I had no intent of making new friends; of putting myself out there to take on life.  I had to accept who was here, be thankful they stayed, and simply exist.  But I love doing life with as many people as possible; I finally get to love hard and be loved.
4) I am back to exercising an hour a day with a rest day (or 2).  That's all. No 'spontaneous X many miles ride or run'.  Recovery comes first, but I am THRILLED to be back swimming, cycling, and running! (My slowness in this heat is HUMBLING!)

Team Ryanman Brave.  Such an honor and exciting experience to do this with them!

5) I am seeking recovery hard-core.  I am struggling but finding success everyday.  I am following a meal plan.  It's not like the voices that tell me things aren't there magically, I just have more of a fighting ability to tell them to flee.  Don't let me fool you and think I have this down-successes and fails happen, but what matters is NEVER QUITTING. When someone tells me they struggle with an ED it makes me happy to know them and fight with them, but simultaneously terrified because they know more of my deepest secrets than I wish people could know.  We are messy people.  I hate that but yet revel in it because our God is so big to help us in our mess, love us through it, and make us beautiful.

So.  Hello TO the other side (as compared to the Adelle song). 
It is nice to meet you.  It's my old life BUT newer and improved; my life will never be the same.  I didn't think this day would come; it makes all the aimless, tough, tear-filled months worth it  all.
This is my story.  This is my song.  Praising my Savior; all the day long.