Wastelanded locusts'-WEEK 4 Y'ALL

Well..I can't believe I am typing that I have been here 4 weeks.  One moment it feels like it's been 4 days, yet sometimes 4 months from all that I've gained.  I have had some wonderful weekends filled with people my heart is always elated to see.

Olivia and her clan is a great mix of fun and chill. (fun from that cutie in front, and chill from the adults--HAH!)

Lindy, Dae, Porter, David.  Lindy is the 'Paul' to my Timothy heart; teaching me Jesus and bible since I was 15.  Though we don't 'disciple' anymore, I am endlessly thankful for the beautiful relationship formed.

Lily, Dawn, and Dad came to see me and we ziplined and ropes coursed it up Saturday afternoon!

One thing that I could NOT wait to blog about is how Joel is SUCH a great picture of recovery.
Lemme tell you a story.  Stick with me because I promise it relates to where I'm at in a few paragraphs!
Joel 1-2:11 is a treacherous time about how awful the land of Judah was.  Locusts invade; it was a ginormous ordeal; makes me think of the 10 plagues- simultaneously.  There was earthquakes, gruesome descriptions of the locusts/ the destruction they caused, fires, darkness;
FEAR gripped all people.

But.  God. 


In 2:12 the story starts to turn around.  He talks about the deliverance that will happen.  Driving the locust armies away; only when the people of Judah come to him with broken hearts that provision happens -with GREAT rejoicing!
THEN.
V. 2:25: "The LORD says, "I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.  It was I who sent this great destroying army against you."
WOW! HE WILL GIVE BACK WHAT I LOST TO THE LOCUSTS.
But wait.  There's more.
V. 3:18-19 says, "...Water will fill the stream beds of Judah..But Egypt will become a wasteland and Edom will become a wilderness..."
WOW.  NOT ONLY WILL JUDAH COME BACK BUT EGYPT WILL BE WASTELAND!

The locusts' surely don't eat delicious things like this in Egypt.

Let me explain.
~The locusts are my eating disorder.
~Egypt is old Meg.
~Judah is my heart.
There is a terrible story I tend to leave out of this whole recovery process; making the beautiful story of redeemed recovery all the less miraculous.  Let me never skip over the month leading to here; the all hell breaking loose and coming to the place of true brokenness. I am learning to not forget the depravity and bound heart that once was, to see what God is doing to loosen the chains of gripping fear, all the while accepting that the destroying locust armies indeed served a purpose.
However, it's time for the locusts' to be taken to war; sent to the wastelands.  It's not that Egypt is expected to disappear off the map, but becomes a part that no longer has impact on Judah.
THUS it's not like I am asking ed to magically disappear, but I AM telling him where he belongs- not able to impact my heart.
God will and is restoring me by watering the streams of my heart; being a refuge, fortress; never again disgracing my 'Self' with locusts.

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW THIS RELATES TO EXODUS 14 FROM LAST WEEK AND Y'ALL I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

My friends and I do fun things. Like Sasha (my roomie) and I getting delicious Pyro's. 

So.  That's my 'what I am learning'.
Otherwise Cordova itself is great.  I am loving learning alongside all my group friends; doing fun outings like custard, Old Navy shopping, pizza, grocery outings, movies.  Group itself is becoming more intense each week; delving into psychodrama, different therapy coping skills, figuring out who ed was to me, all the rules ed has for me, and screwing them up by breaking them!!  Raising my med's to try to get my brain to a more stable place is going well because we are actually doing it one at a time; slowly-WOW.  Some days are tougher than others, I get exhausted from a lot of it.  I miss Jackson more than words can express.  I love and appreciate my friends-the amount of love and support is truly incredible and makes my fight all the stronger.
I am thankful for this place; I could scream from the mountain tops of my thankfulness for each person at Fairhaven for being such a version of compassion I have never seen. For being apart of the life saving/life changing/life giving experience of continually finding true recovery.