confidently praying through the rocks

Well. A year ago or so I wrote a blog about Acts 27. It talks about this harbor called 'Fair Havens'.
How fitting right?
Basically Paul is going to Rome, a storm hits, they are told to stay in Crete, but they journey on anyways. The storm rages on and they start to take refuge at Fair Havens, but it's too exposed. Anyways they continue on, and the storm is raging and v.29 says all hope is lost. BUT God promises that no one will die despite the ship going down. So, God will be gracious to save their lives, but because they disobeyed they still had to face the consequences-they were gonna be shipwrecked. So, the bible finishes the chapter by detailing the shipwreck, but, they all survived!

OK, so how does a shipwrecking apply to my current stage of life?
I lived the gale-force winds battering the ship. I had lost all hope. I shouldn't of left Fairhaven the first time, but I did anyways. The story doesn't end there thankfully. God was merciful to keep me going, and send me back to finish the work we started.
BUT...they still ran into rocks, leading to ship wrecking. I think I'm running into the rocks.
The people had a promise that God wouldn't forsake them, but they still had the fall.
I have a promise from God that all will never be lost, but the struggle still continues.
I am thankful for my friends to provide me with support when the waves surround my ship. I am thankful to have biblical truths to fall into when I run into another rock. I have a work place to distract me (sometimes) from when I have to cut the anchors and leap out in faith to cope with life.

thankful to be in this girls circle, and her in mine.

Another realization that correlates to the above paragraphs is one (thanks to Pinelake) that is the difference in life and death.
Here are the two options:
1) Sin- guilt- confession- forgiveness- LIFE.
2) Sin- enemy- shame- condemnation- negative self talk- DEATH.

Lately I've been living towards death. I've had negative self-talk; shame; let the enemy run with sin. But. No. Forgiveness is the key to life.
Lately I've been doubting God's power; doubting His ability to HEAL. I am praying for my heart to have the faith in God that moves mountains; that can heal my body. I've never pondered (til now) praying with confidence to God about healing from Ed/anxiety. It's a prayer that scares me; makes me feel awkward. How can I pray about that one? Having these things isn't even a sin so how do I go about praying for this whole shin dig? I don't know the answers but I do know Jesus wants freedom for my life, so somehow those have  to correlate and end my story with freedom in His name.

I saw a movie The Greatest Showman. The last time I saw a movie was when I was at Fairhaven round ONE. *I don't like movies* But Renee' kept telling me how great it was, so I gave it a shot.
ZOMG EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE IT!! One line that stuck with me is, "Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play." I am trying to see 'The Other Side' (song from the movie). I want to get away from the monotonous parts of life. I want to experience continual freedom, new risks, spontaneity, big life change, adventure; things that I could only do as a single 26 year old gal.
So, we start small. Investing in fun filled things like a new hair color and expensive mascara. It's the small things that lead to the big things; why not? Lots of potential big things are in the works; it scares me but someone once told me if your dreams don't scare you then you aren't dreaming big enough...I'm sure dreaming big these days.
Stay tuned.