Old life; new person. What an experience to never forget.

Here we are; back in Jackson; what a transition it has been.

Bless Renee' for having to listen to it all as she is embarking on whole 30.

I am endlessly thankful to have a roomie to check on me; make sure I'm on my meal plan; encourage me; ask me how I'm feeling; being there for me. 

Roomie pass-off.
Memphis roomie to Jackson roomie.

It was a beautiful good-bye ceremony at group. Notes, books, journals, a bracelet; all the things to keep to remind me of the work and time I spent at FH. I also got this yoga mat that...Natalie, (my fav. therapist besides Kelley) the mind/body (yoga) therapist was slightly OCD about because it didn't match the rest of the mats, but kept it for me. Wanting to get rid of it we decided for everyone to sign it for me to keep. It's on my floor leading to my room to remind me of the love that is there.

So, the following day, Renee' and my BRF (best running friend) came up to help take me back to Jackson. From the 901 to the 601; til the following Friday! YAY!

We (Fairhaven fam.) are so thankful for the decision for me to go back Friday's for a little while. It's nice to check-in, see the fam., see Kelley, Leslie, and Dr. Saini. Honestly I am terrified to get a new psych so I'm glad to have him to continue to work with me. Fairhaven is such a safe place so it's nice to get to spend a whole day being in Self to remind me what it feels like, and to get to start to bring it back to my life at home.

Speaking of being in Self, I am continuing to learn what Fairhaven provided for me. Helping me learn so many parts/emotions that ambushed me. Psalm 13 speaks so perfectly.

"How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?...Restore the sparkle in my eyes, or I will die...But I will trust in your unfailing love, I will rejoice because you have rescued me."

In the Psalm there is the progression of WHY, to HELP, to PRAISE which seems to echo the trend of my thoughts for the month specifically leading to FH. I keep going back to it because it was such a blur; I was determined if you could die from anguish I was going to be there. I was determined that God WILL rescue me but was so upset it wasn't coming. It came, and I was in awe of the timing of it all. Thank you Psalm 13 for reminding me of His faithfulness even in the midst of terror; fear; overwhelming thoughts; craziness. 

What a blessing to have friends to journey the finding of Self,
and encourage me all along the way!

I started back work, starting coaching, started back at life. Jumping in head first is a bit of a shock but I have a staff to joke with me, but the second I tell them I'm struggling they have all the support for me. I am rockin' at having all the things that I deemed 'bad', but don't think twice about now. Mexican; grilled cheese; corn dogs; ice cream. I feel like a kid trying new foods and showing the parents how proud I am. 

the yogurt with more calories, grilled cheese, ranch;
all the things that are 'I love myself foods'. 

So. It's surreal; scary, overwhelming, refreshing, thankfulness filled, and so many other things being back. I am elated to be back coaching, to get to transition back to work, and reacquaint myself with my old life, but as a new person.