It's been a killer week as far as progress goes-I think I've made a month's progress in the span of 48 hours...literally. This is the point in this blog where I lose words because if you didn't already know-group therapy is the most intensive thing in life; it's a perfect portrayal of what the Church should be. Though not everyone believes that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died for us, and rose again, we all come together on the common ground of God; that there IS a higher power helping us with recovery.
Anyways, I've been approaching all the topics I find shame in, what I find shameful, why I find them shameful, and how to find freedom outside those walls. As I get more and more into recovery I remember more; it's such a beautiful experience because I heard of that happening but of-course I was convinced that I was above that rule-HAH.
Sasha and I have had some fun times this week. Like getting fro yo in the midst of the cold front. I couldn't believe I had that whole thing as a snack, but I loved every second. Realizing I didn't 'screw' up my day, but just listened to what my body was craving is such a new realm of life I never knew possible until now!
For 2 days our afternoon group consisted of 'the odd couple', and that was wonderful simply because our level of trust for each other. This week our apartment was filled with great conversations about life, Jesus, yet sitting in silence, Christmas present talk, and of-course playing with Nadia.
Sasha joined 'phase 2' with me this week, and the thing we both value is the intimacy and vulnerability levels that we all come to. Everyday as some point group is intense; filled with emotional trauma talk, figuring out more and more what Ed and other mal-adaptive behaviors provided for us, and coming face-to-face with shame and intense emotional moments.
In other news, I have found a girl, Bridget, that loves Jesus so much, and we are prayer partners. Having another person be so in tune with the Spirit is a blessing to my life.
Below is something that I've been striving to view everyday with every meal. The red is 'diet' mentality, and the green is the realm we should be in.
So, here we go Christmas! I am going to Jackson to spend most of it with my BFF Candiss and couldn't be anymore elated to wake up with FIVE kiddos my heart loves so dearly! I'll see dad for a few hours Christmas Eve, but overall Candiss and Meg are back in action!
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