It was a surreal moment to just sit there and reflect on living here. You see, 5 years ago when I was here, was before my breakdown. When no one knew about Ed. When I lived in behaviors hidden unbeknownst to my friends. I looked like I had it all. I mean, I was studying abroad in a foreign country.
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| at the park jamming out. |
8 years ago I knew I would live abroad one day. When it was all set to happen, 2 years later, God took away the desires. I cried and cried; I had no idea why at the time, but I knew it was right. So, instead I studied abroad in Peru on a whim.
If God hadn´t taken the desire away when He did, who knows where I would´ve been when the inevitable crash happened. God is soverign and had my best interest in store (as He always does) but at that moment it all clicked. It clicked that God took the desires away because He knew I would fall-hard. I had to go through treatment and finding myself and recovery to lead me to where I am today-living abroad in recovery. Let us journey back to me going to Fairhaven. It is such a redeeming experience to read, let me be the first to tell you. Take a peek.
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So, I have wanted this life I have now for 7 years. During my crash, I had given up on this idea. That I would never been better enough to ponder it.
But. God.
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| I´m even better enough to enjoy me some soda! |
The desires started to come back and blindly I followed it, and gosh I am glad I did. It led me here. It might not be the easiest thing ever, but I tell myself that "if I could survive a mental breakdown, going to and surviving eating disorder treatment, and working recovery as best as I can every day, then gosh darn it, I can surely do this."
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| mmmmmmmm liquid calories. Wouldn´t have it any other way. |
"He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:6.
I love reflecting on my journey. It´s definitely something that won´t get old for awhile. God is good. The end.
👍👍👍
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